My Side of the Story

62 lbs, One Heart Attack & A New Job One Year Later.

2010-09-26T21:09:00.004-05:00

I can't believe that it's been one year since I've written anything on my blog. Becky and I have been on a crazy roller coaster called "life" and we hardly have time to even talk to each other.

(By the way, she says "Hi" and says she will try to do some kind of blog update soon!)

#1: Let me start with the last thing I wrote about almost a year ago. "No fast food for one full year!"

It was a success!!! I lost a total of 62 lbs.! That's almost a whole Back Street Boy! LOL! 62 lbs, and that was doing nothing extra, as far as working out or exercising. Just no eating any kind of fast food.

It was a good thing that I had lost all that weight because...

#2: Two days before my 42nd birthday, just this past Sept 4th, I suffered a massive heart attack!

I was at a Karaoke bar with some friends and just so happened to be singing a duet with a friend. Elton John's "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart." We were about 30 seconds from the end of the song when all of a sudden, it felt as though someone had taken a red hot knife and stabbed me right in the middle of my chest.

I finished the song, being the professional that I am, and went right to the bathroom. I began to sweat like crazy, got light headed and threw up. Just then, I remembered what my father told me after his heart attack.

"It felt like someone stabbed me with a hot knife, I started to sweat, got dizzy and threw up."

Holy s**t!!!... I"M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!

My friend rushed me into my car and drove me home where Becky was waiting. She then took over and got me to the hospital. From Bar to hospital took 20 mins. I was on the operating table within another 25 mins.

I had an angioplasty done. Two stints were implanted inside of me. I had one fully blocked artery and another that was partially blocked. It's been a little over 3 weeks now, and I want you all to know that I'm feeling FANTASTIC!!!

#3: Last, but not least... I got promoted at work! I'm still with the same heating and air conditioning company, just operating more in a management capacity. At least I'm no longer in the field working the crazy 16 to 18 hours a day. Now I'm at set hours from 8am to 4:30pm and I'm still making the same money as when I was working myself to death!

Well, just thought I'd let you all know that we are still alive and kicking and I promise that we'll try to write more on our blogs!

Unit next time... PEACE!!!

A Journal Entry and An Award.

2009-09-11T23:12:00.014-05:00

Well, we are on day 15 of the NFFP (No Fast Food Program). The brain is a fascinating thing. It tells the alcoholic that it needs a drink, it tells the smoker it needs a nicotine fix, it tells a fast food junkie, (me), I need a Big Mac!

Day #12: I don't know if it's because the "no eating any fast food" is still strong in my brain, but I don't think I've ever noticed as many advertisements as I have lately. I'm sure that they've always been there, I just must be noticing them more. White Castle has new special on 30 Sliders. But the more I thought about eating even more than a few of the tiny burgers, made me feel ill. That feeling helped me get through the rest of the day.

Day #13: I didn't work, so I got to stay home all day. If it weren't for all the fast food TV ads, I probably wouldn't have even given fast food a single thought.

Day #14: We have an all day class at work. For lunch they ordered pizzas from a small mom & pop shop not far from the shop. I ate a couple of pieces, but I'll let you know that I had made my lunch and had it in a cooler in my truck, "just in case", the food came from some other place. I can save my lunch for another day.

Day #15: The sign across the street reads, "MEET RONALD McDONALD LIVE TONIGHT!".

Oh, have I ever mentioned that we live directly across the street from a McDonald's???

That's right, all we have to do to get McDonald's is walk across the street! What I'm thankful for is that our youngest daughter Vivienne just happens to be at my mother's house for an over nighter. Our oldest daughter Emerson didn't notice the sign because of the way she walks home from school. No one is the wiser. Life is good.

Okay... On to the last thing. An Award! Some of you may already have this award and you may be getting it again! Here is my new award, given to me by my beautiful wife Becky over at Living the Life with the Wife of Riley .

This one has rules:

1. Each Superior Scribbler I name today must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving bloggy friends.

2. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

3. Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to THIS POST, which explains The Award.

4. Each blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post http://randomthoughts-tammy.blogspot.com/2009/08/good-better-best-never-let-it-rest-till.html and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives this prestigious honor.

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog

And the winners are...

#1: In My Mind It's Always Funny

#2: Don't Make Drugs

#3: Poetikat's Blasts From The Past

#4: Torizworld

#5: IntenseGuy

And that's all for today.

Until next time... PEACE!

Taking It In A Whole New Direction...

2009-09-07T17:19:00.010-05:00

Okay, I know I've been SUPER BAD about my blog. But I'm vowing to get better, RIGHT NOW!

As you've probably read over at my wife's blog, Living The Life With The Wife Of Riley, we have decided, (as a family), not to eat ANY fast food for the next year.

This includes any type of food from any place that is a "chain", such as McDonald's, Burger King or Wendy's, (you know who they are).

Here's what I've decided to do: Over the next year I will write a journal, (right here on Blogger), of the trials and tribulations of not being able to have the foods that, quite frankly, I have grown up with and have eaten, at least, two or more times a week for the past 40 years! And as an added bonus, we figured out how much money we would spend each day on fast food and decided to run a "savings total". An average trip to McDonald's for a family of 4 was about $17.00. If we went to Wendy's it was about $23.00. So "on average" we were spending about $20 everyday we ate fast food. We were shocked when we thought back and discovered we were eating something what we consider "fast food" at least 4 to 5 times out of every 7 day week.

I, on the other hand, was also eating fast food everyday for lunch when I am working. So add another, on average, $6 a day for me!

This idea took a little bit of getting used to. The rules had to be established to the family because, for some reason or another, some of us had no idea what was, (or wasn't), considered "fast food".

For example, I wanted to get Subway one day. I was thinking that because it doesn't have a drive thru and it does offer a few "healthy choices", it would be okay. According to Becky, I was WRONG! It fell into the "It's a corporate chain and you can find one in every town" category.

And of course the kids can make a pretty good argument. Our oldest daughter Emerson was watching a Wendy's television commercial and heard their new slogan, "It's not fast food... It's Wendy's!" Yeah, nothing gets past her, does it?

So, to clarify, the rules are as follows:

#1: You may purchase NOTHING from a corporate "chain" that sells food you can get in under one minute.

#2: A "Sit Down" chain where you get an actual menu you have to open and hold, a waitress that actually comes over to your table to take your order and then brings your order to you, (such as Denny's for example), is NOT considered Fast Food. We can eat there if we wish.

#3: The great Steak 'n Shake debate... I said that a waitress takes your order and brings you the food if you go in and sit down. Becky says that it has two strikes against it however. Strike one, it's a chain. Strike 2, it has a drive thru. Therefor, Steak 'n Shake is Fast Food!

#4: A local "burger or hot dog joint" that is a one of a kind place, (not a chain), and privately owned is NOT fast food. We can eat there if we wish.

#5: Pizza... Pizza Hut and Domino's are both a large corporate chain and falls into the fast food category. The local pizza place down the street that you can only find in that ONE place? They are NOT fast food. We can eat there if we wish.

#6: Chinese Food... Panda Express, BAD! Lin Ming's around the corner from our house and the ONLY Lin Ming's we can find in the United States, GOOD!

#7: The "NO" list so far: (This includes, but is not limited to), McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, Arby's, Subway, Hardee's, Carls Jr., Jack in the Box, KFC, Popeye's Chicken, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Domino's, White Castle, Sonic, A&W, Panda Express, Johnny Rockets, Mr. Submarine, Steak 'n Shake and Jimmy John's.

If any other's come up in the future, I'll discuss them at that time.

Now, the "No Fast Food Project", as it has come to be known, was started two weeks ago on Friday, August 28, 2009. Here are a few things that have happened in the past two weeks...

On day one.. Yes Day ONE!... My mother had kept the kids at her house for a few days before school started again. She drops the girls off that afternoon and both kids bring in hot fresh Happy Meals from McDonald's into the house. The smells were good, I drooled a little bit, but it passed and we were ok.

Day #4: The back story... For YEARS now, we have seen "SONIC Burgers" advertised on Cable TV. I've had SONIC before during trips down to Tennessee to visit family, and I LOVE them! I've looked them up on the Internet from time to time, (usually after seeing one of the television commercials), but the closest one I could ever find was down in Southern Illinois about 280 miles away.

So, day #4 of the NFFP, (No Fast Food Project), and I have take a quick drive northwest of where we live to go to a Air Conditioning call for work. 12 miles from where we live I see a large banner approaching. It is hanging over a bright yellow and red building and it reads, "GRAND OPENING! SONIC DRIVE-IN!!!"... In the words of Shakespeare, "You've got to be f**kin' kidding me!!!". But I resist the urge and drive on by.

Day #6: Have I mentioned how much I love Burger King? With a plethora of fast food places out there that do nothing but fry just about everything on their menu, Burger King gives one a break from the griddle and cooks up their burgers using actual fire on a grill. The only problem I really had with them was price. So on day #6 I start to see new billboards popping up all over the place. "Burger King Double Cheeseburgers proudly join the $1 menu!" During a normal day I may drive by and see a Burger King possibly 2 or 3 times. Today I must have driven by and saw 20 of them! I confess... I actually pulled into one the Burger King parking lots. I actually thought to myself, "Becky will never know! How would she ever find out?" But again, I resist all of the temptations as the guilt took over my body. "What the hell am I thinking???", and I drove out of the parking lot. In the words of Longfellow, "F**k my life...".

Days 7 through 9 go smooth. No real temptations.

Day #10: My birthday... We drive up to the Walworth County Fair in Wisconsin. As soon as we get there I being to salivate more than Pavlov's dog hearing midnight church bells. To my relief, Becky told me, "Fair food is okay. We only go to two fairs a year so eating here is alright. Fair food has it's own category." COOL! But I'm very happy to tell you that I didn't "pig out". My eating at the fair consisted of, Fresh Sweet Corn on the Cob, a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich and later that evening I had to have one of my all time faves, an Elephant Ear. Ahhh... You sweet fried dough and cinnamon sugar concoction. In the words of Jackie Gleason, "How swweeeet it is!"

Day #11: Labor Day... Becky and I decided to just chill out and hang out at the house. But it was late in the afternoon that gave me a truly guilty feeling. I didn't have guilt about thoughts of cheating with fast food but rather, what have we done to our children??? As we watched TV, EVERY television commercial break had at LEAST 2 to 3 fast food ads. Our youngest daughter, 4 year old Vivienne, sees one of the ads for Wendy's and tells us, "I want Wendy's chicken nuggets and a frosty." When we told her no, she proceeded to repeat the request about 7 or 8 more times. We calmly explained, as best as we could to a 4 year old, that we will no longer be having Wendy's for the next 11 and a half months. The meltdown was NOT pretty. I felt so bad for her. I felt like we just let her open all the presents on Christmas day and then said, "Okay, let's take everything back to the store!". After she calmed down, we made a pizza and all was well with the world again.

So as of now we are all caught up to the present day.

So, on day 11 of the NFFP, the total of money saved from not eating fast food = (Drum roll please)...

$220.00

I hope you will follow me and my family as we continue our journey of the NFFP.

Until next time... PEACE!

A "Happy Anniversary" Shout Out!

2009-07-30T01:10:00.005-05:00

The sole purpose for this post is to wish a very happy one year anniversary to a very special blogger.

Her name is Kat and she can be found at Poetikat's Blast's from the Past.

For those of you who have read her blog, you already know how wonderfully written it is, not to mention totally fun and entertaining!

For those of you that have not seen her blog yet, what are you waiting for? Go there, find it and read it! You can thank me later.

I believe her writing to be magical! She has a wonderful way of putting you right in the story. The sounds, the smells, the tastes... The absolutely fantastic memories of youth!

Now, I don't pretend to be some expert on writing, but I know good stuff when I read it!

I wish Kat nothing but the best in life and I know if she sat down and wrote a book it would be on the Best Sellers list. (I just want my autographed copy, of course.)

She is an inspiration to me. Not just to be a better writer, but a better person. I always wished that I could see the world again through a child's eye. Seeing something for the first time and looking at with awe and wonder. She makes me look at things that I have seen a thousand times before and look at it in a new way and say, "Oh wow!" Kat helps me do this and I thank her for it.

Now treat yourself to something good today and hit the link above.

Happy "Bloggerversary" Kat. I can't wait to see what you treat us to in this next year.

Until next time... PEACE!

The New Yearbooks Are Here!!!

2009-07-26T08:56:00.016-05:00

My apologizes in advance to anyone visually impaired reading this post. Unfortunately, there is no way to fully appreciate this post because it is mostly pictures.

With that being said, I have to tell you all that I found one of the FUNNIEST websites out there. It's located at http://www.yearbookyourself.com .

What you do is, download a picture of yourself on their site, (you can download several different pics of yourself), and then you put your face in the heads of old yearbook pictures.

The years go from 1950 thru 2009.

I had more fun on this site than I can tell you!

So without further ado... I give you "Matt's yearbook pictures!"

1950

1952

1956

1978

1980

1984

1986

1990

1996

2009

Hope you enjoyed these. I would love to see your yearbook pictures too!

Until next time... PEACE!

My Life According To Elvis

2009-07-23T19:24:00.006-05:00

Hi everyone!

Sorry I've been away so long. Work has been nuts, as usual, but with the July weather here in Chicagoland being cooler than normal, work has slowed down to a VERY dull roar. Now perhapes I can get back to doing a little more blogging.

I saw that Becky did this on her blog and I thought, "What a good way to back into the blogging game!" So....

Here are the rules:

1) Answer the questions as well as you can, but using only song names from ONE artist.

2) Try not to repeat a song title.

3) Pick your own artist.

4) Tag a bunch of friends. (Tag, you're it.)

After thinking about it, I could only pick one artist...My all time favorite... Elvis Presley.

1. Are you a male or female? -- Big Boss Man

2. Describe yourself: -- Burnin' Love

3. How do you feel? -- Moody Blue

4. Describe where you currently live: -- In the Ghetto

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? -- Blue Hawaii

6. Your favorite form of transportation: -- Shake, Rattle and Roll

7. Your best friend is: -- A Hard Headed Woman

8. Your favorite color is: -- Blue Suede Shoes

9. What's the weather like? -- Kentucky Rain

10. Favorite time of day: -- Such A Night

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? -- Too Much Monkey Business

12. What is life to you? -- Rock-A-Hula Baby

13. Your relationships: -- Devil in Disguise

14. Your fear: -- Funny How Time Slips Away

15. What is the best advice you have to give? -- A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action Please

16. If you could change your name, you would change it to: -- Polk Salad Annie

17. Thought for the day: -- Clean Up Your Own Backyard

18. How I would like to die: -- Rubberneckin

19. My soul's present condition: -- How Great Thou Art

20. My motto: -- Can't Help Falling In Love

Until next time... PEACE!

Radioactive Spider Bite?

2009-05-29T23:35:00.009-05:00

Sorry I haven't been around lately. I'm back to my crazy long work schedule of 12 to 15 hour work days.

Well, it looks like I have the day off because of a spider bite!

As I was working yesterday, a Brown Recluse Spider decided to climb up my pant leg while I was working on an air conditioner unit and bite me on the calf. I felt it right away, but didn't give it much thought.

I got home and got ready to take a shower. When I took off my pants I was shocked at what I saw! A large festering swollen mess on my leg! That, and my leg had started cramping up and had become very tender to the touch.

I went to the Doctor right away and he put me on some antibiotics and told me to call him if anything got worse.

Now, I just want you all to know that, the job I was at was only about 5 miles from a nuclear power plant! So I'm kind of waiting for a slight transformation by tomorrow morning due to a radioactive spider bite...

I'll let you know if anything develops...

But between us, I think the transformation has already begun... My "Spidey Senses" are starting to tingle! LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all the mothers out there in blogger world a very Happy Mother's Day!

And a very special Happy Mother's Day to one of the best moms I know of... My Wife Becky!

I see her with our children and I can't help but think of how blessed I am to have this woman as my wife and the mother of my children.

She is kind, funny, loving and most of all, my best friend!

Happy Mother's Day my dear... I hope you have a great one. You deserve it!

Until next time... PEACE!

At What Point Is One Called A "Geek".

2009-05-08T09:27:00.006-05:00

Hello. My name is Matt and I'm a... Geek???

The one side of my computer desk was getting rather messy and I decided it was time to reorganize and clean. There was only one problem. What do I do with all of my droids?

Yes, you read that right. Droids. As in robots. Mainly, Star Wars Droids. I can't tell you when exactly I started this collection, but I've always been a fan of Star Wars and I can tell you that I've always been a fan of the Droids in the films, (and books).

As the Star Wars universe grew, over the past 32 years, there have been stories written outside the realm of the movies that are known as the "Expanded Universe" (or EU). In these stories are all of the side adventures of other characters and droids seen in Star Wars, but who's stories you knew nothing about.

I got into reading all of these stories and, in turn, wound up buying the toys as they came out. But now I have realized that I'm starting to run out of room! With 58 droids presently, space is starting to get a little tight.

At least once a week Becky has a comment about them either needing to be moved, or better yet, sold or thrown away. I usually can stop this conversation in its tracks by saying something like, "I'll get rid of one droid for every one pair of shoes you get rid of." LOL!

But even she's guilty of being an enabler when I get a phone call and she says, "I'm at the toy store with the girls. Do you have or need R4-K5?". She's such a trooper!

My Mother-In-Law has even gotten into the act having Becky check my "Droid wish list" and then getting a few of them for me at Christmas.

So, as far I can see, as long as they keep making them, I'll keep getting them!

And if anyone wants to know, "Do you have a favorite?" The answer is yes. I have 2 in fact!

#1 is the one and only classic R2-D2.

And #2 is a little pink number named R2-KT. I know a "pink" droid might sound a little strange to be a guys favorite. But it's more the story about what she represents that makes her my favorite.

She was named after a little girl named Katie that had brain cancer and for every R2-KT (R2-Katie) that was sold, the proceeds went to Children's Cancer Research and the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She was very hard droid to find, but I did so, and I'm very proud of her!

For more on Katie's story, (get the tissues ready), CLICK HERE.

So does collecting all of these make me a Geek, or just a big kid?

Until next time... PEACE!

Just Call Me Pinky Lee

2009-05-03T08:48:00.004-05:00

Well, after 40 of life it finally happened to me... I got "Pink Eye"!

I had somehow managed to avoid this particular infection my entire life until yesterday. I woke up with my right eye swollen shut. It was the strangest thing I have ever felt.

It's like the "sleep in your eye" had become some form of heavy duty Super Glue! After wiping it away I was able to slowly pry my eye one with my fingers and take a peek in the mirror. AAGGHHHH! What in the hell had happened to me???

Hide the wife and kiddies, stay inside and lock your doors! It's "The Attack of the Monster Pink Eye!"

I quickly called work to tell them that I needed the day off and then proceeded to call my doctor. Here is what I was told...

Pinkeye, (also called conjunctivitis I found out), is redness and swelling of the conjunctiva, the mucous membrane that lines the eyelid and eye surface. The lining of the eye is usually clear. If irritation or infection occurs, the lining becomes red and swollen. Pinkeye is very common and goes away in 7 to 10 days without medical treatment. However, it can be VERY contagious!!!

Then I was bombarded with a bunch of questions:

"Do you have any of the following symptoms?"

Eye redness (hyperemia)? Yes.

Swollen, red eyelids? Yes.

More tearing than usual? Yes.

Feeling as if something is in the eye? Yes.

An itching or burning feeling? Yes.

Mild sensitivity to light? Yes.

A yellowish drainage from the eye? Eewww... Yes.

I guess the answer of "yes" to the last question is what determined exactly what kind of pinkeye I had. (Who knew there was more than one?).

I have "Viral and/or bacterial pinkeye". GREAT!

I was told that it was very contagious and can spread very easily. Since most pinkeye is caused by viruses for which there is usually no medical treatment, preventing its spread is important. Poor hand-washing is the main cause of the spread of pinkeye, (and I thought I was doing so well! Becky even made me buy hand sanitizer to use after all of my jobs to prevent the "Swine Flu" from coming home with me). Sharing an object, such as a washcloth or towel, with a person who has pinkeye can spread the infection.

The doctor did give me a prescription of some eye drops. The only thing I hate about them is that when I put them in it feels like I'm putting drops of acid in my eye because it burns so bad! 2 drops, every 4 hours. And they make everything blurry. So I can't even read or watch TV without straining to see the picture.

The great news is that I woke up this morning with my other eye swollen shut as well.! So I went ahead and started putting the drops in that eye also. But I DO get the pleasure of staying home for the next 3-5 days and do everything in my power NOT to infect everyone else in the house!

I just can't tell you how much I love my life right now! LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback!

2009-05-02T09:54:00.002-05:00

Hello again, Kiddies. It's time for another Saturday Morning Classic Cartoon.

I dedicate this one to my wife, Becky. When I pulled it up on YouTube, she was able to sing the whole song, word for word. I think that her pin-up obsession started at a very young age!! LOL!!!

So, grab a big bowl of Sugar Snaps and enjoy!

Until next time...Peace!!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2009-04-26T12:01:00.003-05:00

Hello again kiddies,

It's time once again for another classic cartoon.

Have you ever been misunderstood or have you ever not known what another person is really talking about? Well that's the dilemma St. Peter has when a "slang" talking man appears at the Pearly Gates and has to tell his life story to see if he can get into heaven.

So grab a big bowl of Fruity Pebbles, sit back, relax, and enjoy this weeks cartoon, "Symphony in Slang".

Until next time... PEACE!

Painting The Past For Preservation

2009-04-18T21:53:00.006-05:00

Tomorrow Emerson turns 10 years old. With this being the last full weekend I have off before air conditioner season starts, I told Emerson we could do anything she wanted to for her birthday weekend. This morning we woke up and I gave Emerson the choice of what to do today.

#1. Go bowling. (Today was "position" day for Emerson's bowling league. Emerson's team is up for 1st place and today she was supposed to bowl the other team tied for the 1st place spot.)

#2. Go to the town of Odell, IL and help with one of the many Route 66 Preservation Projects.

#3. Basically anything else SHE wanted to do.

She thought about it for a while and decided on the Route 66 project. So we got into the car and drove the 1-1/2 hrs. to the town of Odell. Becky wasn't feeling well, so it was just Emerson, Vivienne and myself.

The preservation project was repainting a 1932 Standard Oil Filling Station on Route 66.

The man in charge of the project, John Weiss, is an author of several Route 66 books, President of the Illinois Route 66 Preservation Society, and just happens to be good friends of ours. The first thing Emerson did was run up to John and say, "What can I paint?!"

Without hesitation, John handed her a paint brush and put her and Vivi to work.

Meanwhile, I was put to work putting up old automobile and filling station artifacts on the old barren shelves.

Before long some pizzas arrived and it was time for a break. After lunch a cake was brought out for Emerson and we all sang happy birthday. Then it was back to work for a few more hours before heading home.

I can't tell you how proud I was of Emerson today, to give up her "do whatever you want to do" day to help volunteer. I hope this means that we are doing something right in her upbringing.

She did say she had a lot of fun today. Vivi did too. Even if they did get more paint on themselves than the building. LOL! But even so, after we were all done, the place looked like brand new again!

Until next time... PEACE!

Happy Easter !

2009-04-12T00:31:00.003-05:00

Here's wishing you all a very happy and healthy Easter Holiday!

Until next time... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2009-04-11T07:37:00.002-05:00

Hi all. It's been a while since I've been on or even posted a Saturday Morning Flashback! So let's not waste any time...

Grab your big bowl of Fruity Pebbles, sit back, relax and enjoy this weeks cartoon!

And here is another Flashback Commercial...

Until next time... PEACE!

The Wedding Was A Smash! (In More Ways Than One).

2009-03-29T15:38:00.007-05:00

Sorry for the late post. There was a lot of running around to do before I had a chance to sit and relax for a moment and type some things out on the computer.

Well, I'm happy to announce that the wedding ceremony was a huge success! I saw the bride become a nervous wreck before the wedding when things that she didn't even need to know about were brought to her attention. Things such as bridesmaids running around yelling at each other and blaming each other about vases that were left at home that were supposed to be on the head table, a missing corsage, and some unlit candles. "It wasn't MY job! Was it?"

With each thing said, the bride became more and more visibly shaken. It was time for someone, anyone, to assume some sort of order and delegate authority. With a slightly stern voice, that I would use to stop and argument between two preteen daughters, "Ladies!", I began, "Let's take care of the things that can be taken care of right now and let's completely forget about the things that we can no longer do nothing about!" I said. "You!", pointing at one of the bridesmaids, who's name I had no idea, "Take this lighter and light all the candles! You have 4 minutes. GO!", I continued, "This wedding is going to take place with or without vases for the head table and since the guests have never seen them in the first place, they won't know anything is missing." (I was on a roll!) "You!", pointing at another nameless bridesmaid within earshot, "Do you know what car the flowers came in?", I asked. She nodded yes. "Quickly go to that car and check for the missing flower. If it's there, great! If not, too bad.". I looked at the others, "Everyone else stay calm and don't say anything else that will make the bride upset or nervous".

I walked to over to the bride and said, "Everything is fine. The only thing I want you to do is relax, walk down the isle and get married. Okay?" She said, "Okay.", and then smiled.

With that, I walked to where the Groom and the groomsman were. Thankfully, everything was going just fine in there. The only thing I had to do in there was to grab the few groomsman that were outside having a smoke. We all walked into the hall and the wedding began.

As I looked around, the candles were all lit, (check), the brides mother had her corsage on, (check), and not one guest was pointing and talking about missing vases that they had never seen before, (check!).

The ceremony went off without a hitch! Everyone stood where they were supposed to be standing, everyone stood up and sat back down when they were supposed to, the bride and groom repeated after me when they were supposed to repeat after me, and not one word was mispronounced.

After I spoke the words, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I consider it an honor to be the very first person to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Cortez!", the congregation erupted in applause and I thought to myself, "Half of the people, including my wife, are crying and smiling at the same time... I must have done a pretty good job!"

My only regret was that Becky said that she got so wrapped up in the ceremony, that she forgot to take any pictures of me actually performing it! So the only shot I have from the wedding is one of the bride, groom and I posing for the photographer. But that's okay.

After that, it was "Party Time!". Or so I thought. Being invited to stay for the reception, I had almost forgot that I would have one more small job. I would have to give the prayer to bless the meal. How could I forget something like that? I had nothing prepared! I would have to say it, 'off the cuff'. After I was done, I returned to our table. Becky had a look on her face. One of, "I've heard that blessing before!" I could see she was going through her mental Rolodex. Going through every movie or TV show she has ever seen. "Where have I heard that blessing before?", she asked. With a smile I simply replied, "It was the one that was said at our wedding." How's THAT for a photographic memory? LOL!

I will have to say that the hors d'oeuvres and appetizers were divine, the soup was out of this world and the main course, consisting of a roasted half chicken, a huge twice baked potato and green beans was fantastic! The open bar seemed to have a constant flow of people coming to and from it.

As the night and the merriment progressed I have to say that Becky and I did pretty good. We were a little tipsy, but we never got "sloshed". I had a few concerns when at one point late in the evening I saw Becky, with a freshly broken wine glass in hand, laying on the dance floor in a puddle of wine. "Uh oh.", I thought.

But it turned out that while she was dancing with a friend of ours, while she was in a mid twirl, someone else knocked into her, throwing her off balance and sending her crashing to the floor. She has a nice bump and bruise of her knee this morning as a sore reminder.

But all in all, the night was complete success. We had a really fun time and a great night out. Bruises and all. LOL!

So if you were all wondering... The preacher's wife was wonderful.

Until next time... PEACE!!!

" I " Now Pronounce You Husband & Wife?

2009-03-28T02:30:00.003-05:00

Yeah, that's right... You read that correctly. In one of my biggest steps to date of being an Ordained Minister, for the first time ever, I will be joining a man and woman in the bonds of holy matrimony later TODAY!

I have to admit that I have more than one butterfly fluttering away in my stomach. The only other thing I've done in any "official capacity" was to reside over Becky's grandmother's burial. That one was easy. Her funeral had already taken place in Florida. She was brought back to Illinois to be buried next to her late husband. All I had to do was say a small prayer and do the "ashes to ashes" part at the grave site and witness the lowering of the casket. Becky, my Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law, Step Mother-In-Law and four people that worked at the cemetery was all that were in attendance. Unfortunately, it was a sad occasion to have to perform as my very first act as a Minister. But it went off without a hitch and I took pride in what I had just accomplished.

From that time we flash forward four months ago. Becky's co-worker and friend has two of her best friends getting married. They are looking for someone to perform the service for them. Becky says, "Matt would probably do it!"

With that, Becky's friend called me and asked me if I would do it for them. I answered, "Yes".

Flash forward to today. TODAY!!! How did four months go by so quickly? Well, the good news is that the rehearsal last night went very smooth. But now it's time for the "real deal"! This time a few more than just 8 people will be witnessing this. More like 200 this time.

But it's really not the number of people in attendance that has my hands a little shaky. It's actually the fact that there are just two people actually counting on me and not for just some small random task.

Two people have put their full faith and trust unto me to give them what will be one the most greatest, biggest and memorable things they will ever do together! Every girl dreams of her wedding day. That one perfect day where nothing goes wrong.

That's a lot of pressure to put on a guy, ya know?!!!

Let's just hope I do a little better than poor Rowan Atkinson in the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral" did! Give it a quick look see...

I'll let you all know how it went on Sunday. But at 5:30 PM Chicago, Illinois time, if you could all lower your heads and give a little prayer my way I'd appreciate it. I'll take any help I can get! LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

I Get "Some" Of My Toys Back!

2009-03-24T18:43:00.003-05:00

I guess I've been doing alright with my "To Do List", so Becky has decided to trust me with a few of the toys again.

I get my choice of one. I've decided on the key board and mouse for the computer. I could care less about TV and the Wii and X-Box are fun, but I can live without them. My computer on the other hand... Gotta have it!

So it's time to celebrate! Everybody get up and do the Mat Dance with me! LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

What Fiendish Villan Has Stolen My Remotes?

2009-03-23T05:18:00.008-05:00

What kind of a world do we live in where a man is held hostage in his own home by his wife?

With my new work schedule of 7 days on / 7 days off, I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with the kids over their spring break. My wife Becky, on the other hand, is still stuck going to work. So, with me being home all week, she has given me a very detailed list of the things that needs to be done around the house before I have to go back to work, and back to my crazy 15 to 18 hrs work days.

In order to get these things done in a timely fashion, she has gone to drastic measures it seems. The tote bag she carries with her to work everyday seemed to be a tad bulky this morning, but I really didn't give it much thought.

It was only when I returned home that I discovered the treachery of what the wife had done. The remote controls to the TV and the Blue Ray Player are not in there normal locations. In fact, they are no where to be found! But wait! What's this? The game controllers to the Wii and Xbox are missing off the entertainment center as well!

My first thoughts are, "What the hell??? I'm going nuts!... I'll e-mail Becky and find out what's up." As I sit down at the computer I pull out the sliding panel from under the computer desk only to find... No keyboard. Holy S**T.. The mouse is missing too!

Have we just been robbed by the most sadistic thief on the planet? Leaving the main expensive stuff, but only taking the things needed to operate them? What fiendish, underhanded madman has done this to my home?!!! This is like one of those crimes that would be master minded by one of the criminals from the 1960's Batman show! The Joker perhaps? "HOLY COMPLETELY USELESS MERCHANDISE MATMAN!"

Luckily, I remembered I still had my trusty Mat Phone with texting capabilities in my Utility Belt!

With feverish speed I texted Becky and Commissioner Gordon. "We've been robbed of our operating equipment 'ol chums!... To the Mat Poles!"

"I took them all!", was the reply from the wife. "I didn't want you to be distracted from the 'To Do List' that I left you!", she continued.

Could this be??? Was the Villain I was after... MY OWN WIFE?!!! What Villainy! What treachery! Yes, it was the work of the woman that knew me best... Becky's alter ego, The Beckenator! I could almost hear the evil, "Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!", laugh across three towns! And to top it all off, she must have incapacitated Commissioner Gordon, because he never responded to my text! HOLY EMASCULATED IN MY OWN HOME!

I went to the roof and activated the MatSignal.

Normally my group, "The League Of Super Male Friends" would have come to my rescue... Unfortunately, it is daylight and no one responded.

Not to be outsmarted by my arch nemesis, I proceeded to the Mat Cave, (cleverly disguised as a typical suburban basement), and was able to locate a keyboard and mouse from an old computer! Without the aide of a trustworthy butler named Alfred, I was able to remain a pack rat and keep the Mat Cave well cluttered!

Now, don't get me wrong, I do promise to do everything on Becky's list... But did she have to go so far as to steal all the remotes and keyboards? Speaking of which, I had better get this keyboard and mouse back down to the Mat Cave before she catches me! Lord knows I don't want to feel the wrath of The Beckenator!!!

Stay tuned Mat Fans... Talk to you tomorrow! Same Mat Time... Same Mat Channel!

Until next time... PEACE!

Driving Miss Becky (or Rebecca The Road Rage Warrior)

2009-03-19T14:16:00.005-05:00

As most families now days, we are the owners of two cars and you never know how much you'll miss that second car until you can't use it for one reason or another. This is the current case with the wife and I.

You see, Becky's uncle had his own car, but it broke down. Becky and I are both people that will always lend a hand when needed, even more so when it comes to family. So we've loaned our second car to him until he can raise the ridiculous amount it will cost to either repair his current car, or have enough to buy another one. Let's just say, we are not expecting the car back anytime real soon. Which is actually okay with us.

With the crazy hours that I work, I'm rarely home and when I do get home, Becky is usually already back from work and if I need to go somewhere the car is there for my taking.

We really haven't had any issues with only having one car for the time being. That was until I just got my new schedule for work. With the seasons changing there's not a lot of work to be done right now. When the temps are nice outside and no one is using their furnaces or A/C's out there, of course, nothing is breaking down to fix. So right now I'm on a 7 days on / 7 days off rotation at work.

To me, there is nothing worse than having 7 days off in a row and having no personal transportation. I hate the feeling of being "stuck at home".

So we've come up with the best plan we could think of. I will get up early everyday and drive Becky to work and then go and pick her back up at the end of her work day. So far so good.

Whenever Becky and I go somewhere I usually drive the car and really, Becky couldn't be a more sweeter or pleasant passenger. The Becky, that I come to find out after 14 years of marriage, that I have never known is the "Rush Hour Commute Becky"!

Who knew that my normally mild mannered wife turns into a foul mouthed, she needs an exorcist, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Death Race 2000 freak between the hours of 7:30 and 8:00 am and then again from 5:00 and 5:30 pm! Who is this woman whom which I have shared my bed with for many years? Where did she come from? How did I not see this before?

It doesn't matter If I am the one driving or not, (I've tried it both ways)! I have now heard things come out of her mouth that have me stunned, and I'll have to admit, a little scared! Becky has her own theories about auto drivers. One of my favorites is that if the driver is wearing a hat, (of any kind), that person doesn't know how to drive. Also, elderly people are equally offencive.

Here are a few examples of some of the little gems I've heard in the past few days:

"Why is it that every little douche just learning how to drive has to be in front of ME? Why don't they learn to drive by picking up their parents that are to drunk to drive after a party like the rest of us?!"

"I swear to God, when I'm King the rule will be that no one over the age of 60 can own a f***ing car! Just give the old farts free bus passes for the rest of their lives!"

"You know, not every a**hole wears a hat, but every hat wearer is an a**hole!"

"Holy s**t! Yeah, that's right old man! Cut me off again a**hole! God forbid you miss 'free coffee time' at f***ing IHOP!"

"I swear, before I die I'm going to blow up every f***ing railroad track between home and work!"

"What fresh hell is THIS?!... The speed limit is 45 NOT 35!!! (Looking at the person as we pass them), Did you see that? Old person wearing a hat! Double f***ing whammy!"

"Did you see the size of that pothole?!! A Chinese person waved at me when I looked down into it! When are they going to fix this s**t?!"

"I swear they hired the Mayor's brother's retarded step son to program the timing of the stop lights in this f***ing town!"

As we pull up to her work, I can actually see the change in her. It's like the drive to work never happened. The anger subsides and the smile returns to her face, she leans over and gives me a tender kiss and says, 'I love you.. See you tonight." As she walks away from the car I can't help but feel that I just witnessed the changing of the HULK back into Bruce Banner. Just when you think you really know a person.

As I write this I notice that I have to leave to pick her up from work in about 40 minutes. All I know is, thankfully it's only a 1/2 hour to get back home from where she works. I wonder what she'll find out there to yell at then? Wish me luck!

Until next time... PEACE!

'Tis A Glorious St Patty's Day!

2009-03-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Ah, 'tis a glorious St. Patty's Day here in Chicago! The temperatures will be in the 70's and the Chicago River is dyed a beautiful florescent green.

Now turn your speakers up nice and loud, order up a pint of green beer and lift your glasses high one and all...

For it's time to sing, "Another Irish Drinking Song"!

Happy St. Patty's Day everyone! Be safe!

And until next time... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2009-03-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

Hello Kiddies!

It's time again for another Staurday Morning Classic Cartoon & TV commercial.

So grab your big bowl of Fruit Loops, sit back and enjoy...

Until next time... PEACE!

Review #1 (Parental Guidance Suggested)

2009-03-10T18:24:00.014-05:00

Looks like everyone is wanting a review from me as well on the products Becky was given to test from Eden Fantasys.

Well, okay... I'm game.

Becky and I discussed how graphic we should get on these reviews. So here's the deal. I was raised in a home where sex was never a "dirty" thing. Sometimes sex just needs to be talked about. The more information you have the better it can be. So I promise to be professional, but yet playful at the same time. So needless to say, don't worry, I won't get too graphic or use crude slang terms, however be on the lookout for some "medical terminology" and don't giggle when you see it. LOL!

I'll review the same products Becky is reviewing at the time. So the first item up for review will be "The Artemis"

This product was named after Artemis virgin goddess of the hunt. Daughter of Zeus and twin sister of Apollo, this was one tough lady and this product is a true testament to her name.

The Artemis can be a tad intimidating as far as looks go. Sort of a mixture of a cactus, large caterpillar and space alien. But don't let those "spikes" discourage you from using this item. They are actually very soft and flexible "ticklers" that will soon have you squealing with delight.

The duel action of the Artemis can be worked together or independently of each other. The first is the "rabbit type" part. And for today's first medical term... This is for clitoral stimulation.

The secondary part is the rotating shaft. The shaft is slightly curved, broad-ribbed and has a rounded tip for a more emphasized and intensified insertion, (or so I was told).

The secret ingredient of the Artemis is in its power! The Artemis really delivers a punch. This "punch" does come with a small price... Noise.

My one warning when using this toy would be if your looking for something discreet and quiet, this is probably the one you wouldn't pick. But, if this isn't a concern to you then go ahead and turn the dial up to high and and get ready for a nice, toe curling wild time.

The only glitch we found with the whole thing was a misprint on the packaging. It called for 4 AAA batteries when, in fact, it takes 4 AA batteries.

This normally wouldn't have been a problem, but I actually had to get redressed and take a special run to the store. That was a little bit of a bummer as I thought we had covered all of our bases and we were in for the night.

Other than that, I would have to say whether your using the Artemis by yourself or with your partner this is one toy that will be sure to please!

I will give the Artemis 3-1/2 toe curls out of 5.

For more great item like the Artemis be sure to check out Eden Fantasys web site at http://www.edenfantasys.com/.

Look on both Becky's blog and mine on Thursday for our next review. The Casino Sex Game.

Until next time... PEACE!

Wow! What A Weekend!

2009-03-09T11:48:00.006-05:00

As most of you have already seen over at my wife Becky's blog, we had a great weekend! One that we BOTH needed desperately, might I add.

Becky's new little gig of reviewing adult and erotic toys, games and other fun stuff was the perfect opportunity to get away for a night.

As you might have read on her blog, I did decide to surprise her with a trip away from home. Grandma was already going to have the girls and we were going to have the house to ourselves, but there's just something about getting away that just makes it all a little bit better.

That, and if things got out of hand or too crazy, we didn't have to wash our own sheets or repaint the walls or anything. Hey, we didn't know what we were getting into here! LOL!

But even with the kids gone, sometimes you still forget and half the time we stop at the slightest little sound in the house. Then the other half of the time we're throwing a cat off the bed.

The worst is when the cats are just out of arms reach, sit and just stare at you. It's somewhat of a mood breaker. Especially when you know darn well they didn't pay to get in and see the show!

Even during a normal night at home it's so hard to get "in the mood" when you have two children. Children, that is, that just love to sneak into bed with you during the night. You just never know when it's going to happen. The more I think about that movie "Mommy Dearest" and how she use to tie and strap her children into bed each night, one starts actually thinking, "maybe she wasn't THAT bad of a mother..." LOL!

Becky and I have our own idea about "protected sex". Protected sex in our house is when we use Vaseline. Not for ourselves mind you, we use it on the outside doorknob to our bedroom so the kids can't get a grip on it and open the door and walk in on us.

Well, this is the reason for our little "get away" this past weekend. No kids, no cats, no worries.

The place we stayed at was called Lake Lawn Resorts and I'll give them a good review! It was really pretty there, even in the pouring rain, which is what it did all weekend long. But that was fine with us, we didn't have many outdoor activities planned anyways. LOL!

I will probably be giving reviews of the products as well, (from the "guys" point of view). So be sure to check it out after you read Becky's blog.

Until next time.... PEACE!

I've Been Tagged... That's Just WEIRD!

2009-03-05T15:20:00.005-06:00

I was over at my Blogger friend "The Mommy" blog at Confessions Of... and she tagged me to do the following:

Name 6 "weird" things about you and post them. Okay... I'll give it a shot.

#1: My FAVORITE sandwich in the world is Peanut Butter and Miracle Whip. (You're NOT allowed to say "Eewwww!" until you've at least given it a try!)

#2: I'm an Elvis Impersonator. Even won contests and cash prizes for it!

#3: I am allergic to all pork products! Sueweeee!

#4: I have a "shopaholic personality" when it comes to buying DVD's. I can't leave the store without buying one. I don't care if it's an instructional DVD on "How To Neuter Your Cat At Home". If it's in the $4.99 bin... It's MINE!

#5: I'm never cold. No really... I'm NEVER cold! The heaviest thing I own is a sweatshirt and I'll only put that on if it's below 0 degrees F and sometimes I get to hot even in that!

#6: When I sit, I curl my toes under my feet, (sorta like making a fist with my feet). I have done this ever since I've been a child.

Now, I'm supposed to tag a bunch of others, but you know who you are... Go ahead and let your Freak Flag fly! If you wanna do this, (and you know you do), go for it!

Until next time... PEACE!

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

2009-03-05T12:14:00.003-06:00

Oh, what to do, what to do...

Work has slowed down so much that "The Evil Galactic Empire", (that's what we call work now), has decided to put us all on a 7 days on/7 days off work schedule.

They are going to split the week up , so I now have today (Thursday) thru next Wednesday off. Then I work from next Thursday thru Wednesday, then I'm off again for 7 days.

I just don't know what to do with myself!

Unfortunately, Becky and I only have one car at the moment and she needs that for work. Our other car is being used by Becky's uncle. His car broke down and he doesn't have the money to fix it right away, so Becky loaned him ours.

So the bad part is, I'm sorta stuck here at the house.

I can only organize and alphabetize our DVD collection so much! LOL.

Well, I'm off to put my thinking cap on and think of something to do.

Until next time... PEACE!

Becky Made The Funeral Potatoes

2009-03-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

As I was not feeling well last night due to my bought with vertigo, Becky was put on "extra duty" because I really couldn't help her out that much.

She came home from a long bad day at work, got some laundry together, made dinner and fed us all, bathed the kids and then took a shower herself before she even had a chance to sit down just to take a small breather.

Well I'm here to tell you that dinner was AWESOME!

Becky made Oven Baked Chicken, Green Bean Casserole, and Funeral Potatoes.

Now, if your like me, you'll ask yourself the question... "What in the hell are "Funeral Potatoes???"

Funeral Potatoes are a mixture of frozen cubed hash browns, sour cream, cream of mushroom soup, butter, shredded cheddar cheese and minced onions. (Sometimes she puts corn flakes over the top before baking them, but last night she didn't add them).

This dish has been a favorite around our house for years now. When she puts the corn flakes on them they are called "Brenda's Potatoes". The reason for this is because it was named, (by Becky), after a lady named Brenda that used to make them when Becky was a child.

When they are made without the corn flakes, Becky calls them "Funeral Potatoes". The reason for this name is because this is the dish she makes to bring for an "after a funeral" get together.

She says that it is a super easy dish to make, it only takes a total of about 35 minutes to both prepare and bake, and as a big plus, if there are any left over, it freezes beautifully.

All I know is, no matter what they are called, they are one of my favorite things she makes! And as I am feeling a TON better, I'm going to have to say that they are also a cure all for what ales ya! LOL!

I was going to put a picture of them on here, but Blogger won't let me upload them right now. Sorry.

Until next time... PEACE!

Vertigo Sucks

2009-03-03T18:07:00.006-06:00

I woke this morning at 3:30 am, head pounding and feeling quite ill. As I got up out of bed my legs gave out immediately and I fell to the floor.

I literally crawled to the bathroom and got sick. After staying in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, I was able to walk slowly, (by leaning against walls and grabbing onto desks and chairs), over to the sofa where I laid down.

I knew what was happening, it happened once before about a year ago and the only thing I can say about it is... Vertigo SUCKS!

For those of you that have never had the pleasure of suffering from Vertigo, the only way I can explain it is, riding the Tilt-A-Whirl non-stop. The feeling of falling, non-stop! Move your head even the slightest bit and your stomach does a complete flip flop, sends that information to your brain, which makes you double over and triggers the "throw up" button. Sure, it sounds fun... But not really.

I repeated the trip from the sofa to the bathroom and back again two more times until, at 6:30 am, I called my boss and told him I would be taking the day off.

I spent the remainder of the day on the sofa, drifting in and out of sleep. It was only until about an hour ago, (6:00 pm), that I started begin to feel better.

I'm still feeling a little dizzy, (but then again, I've always been tad dizzy), but hopefully I'll been feeling much better tomorrow for work.

Until next time... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2009-02-28T07:37:00.003-06:00

Hello again boys and girls! It's time once again for this weeks Saturday Morning Classic Cartoon Flashback!

So grab your big bowl of Fruit Loops, sit back, relax and enjoy!

And here's your vintage 70's commercial.

Until next time... PEACE!

The Bill or Jerry Arguement. Can YOU Help?

2009-02-26T18:58:00.013-06:00

On Wednesday's, when I'm off work, I go to watch Becky bowl on her league.

Becky likes to schedule her chiropractor appointments before bowling, so we go there first and then afterwards we have abut 45 minutes before bowling starts.

So, after she gets adjusted we head on over to a restaurant near the bowling alley called Garibaldi's.

It's a neat little place all decked out in 50's memorabilia.

Well on one of the walls there are character cutouts hanging on the wall. As we looked over we both said them all out loud. "Buddy Holly, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Little Richard..." And then we came to the last cutout.

I said, "Bill Haley" and at the same time Becky said, "Jerry Lee Lewis".

"Jerry Lee Lewis?" I said, "That's Bill Haley!"

"You're nuts!" Becky replied, "That's SO Jerry Lee Lewis!"

Now, for those who might not know who these people are, they are both singers from the 1950's. Bill Haley's biggest hit was "Rock Around the Clock" and Jerry Lee Lewis's biggest hit was "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On". Here's a couple of pictures of both of the real people.

Bill Haley:

Jerry Lee Lewis:

Well, after about 2 months and a number of visits to the restaurant, the argument still continues.

So, here I am, asking for your vote. Who in the heck is this supposed to be? Bill Haley or Jerry Lee Lewis?

Until next time... PEACE!

Matt Needs You To Read This

2009-02-23T09:40:00.005-06:00

Business is starting to slow down a bit, (thank God!), and I actually have the day off today! Hoo-RAY!

I was given "the list" of things to do today by wifey, but I thought I needed to take care of something really important first.. The Blog! LOL!

So my blogger buddy Melissa over at Mama Loco posted a blog about Googling yourself. (Don't feel bad... I thought it sounded dirty too! Hee-hee.)

I thought it was pretty darn funny and I was racking my brains for something to blog about today anyways, so I decided to do it as well.

Here's what you do... Go to Google and type in your name followed by the word "needs". List the FIRST 10 THINGS that show up. No searching around for something better!

So according the the great and powerful Google, here's what "Matt needs"...

#1: Matt needs to date a midget or something. Okay, I'll try the midget, it's the "or something" that has me a little nervous.

#2: Matt needs new wheels. "Hey baby... Wana take a ride in my new love machene?"

#3: Matt Needs a Valentine. No... One's enough, but thanks for the offer.

#4: Matt needs to keep his day job. I didn't think my singing was THAT bad!

#5: Matt needs Spaz. And really... Who doesn't?!

#6: Matt needs to moblog. Fast! What is this "moblog"? And why do I need to do it so quickly?

#7: Matt needs to not play every little meme that comes along. Well, that's just good sound advice right there!

#8: Matt needs him some rehab. And I say, "No... No... Nooooo."

#9: Matt Needs Your Help! I have an itch in the middle of my back, and I can't reach it!!

#10: Matt needs to apologize. Sorry about this post.

Okay, it's your turn! Go play! LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2009-02-20T22:52:00.004-06:00

Hello Kids. It's that time again for another Saturday Morning Cartoon Flashback.

So go grab your big bowl of Coco Puffs, sit back, relax and enjoy this week's cartoon!

And a bonus 70's TV commercial for you too!

Until next time... PEACE!

Fabulous Foto Friday

2009-02-20T00:00:00.002-06:00

I've decided to get in on the fun of Fabulous Foto Friday.

My little buddy Kimmy over at Our Life's Journey has had me wanting to do this for a while, so here it goes.

I hope you all will join in. If you like taking pictures, then this is just the thing for you. Check here for the rules.

Now, I took a bunch of pictures last Sunday, but I put them all on the post prior to this one already, and I haven't taken any other pictures this week.

So, right off the bat, I'm going to break the rules a little bit and post a really old photo of me.

I had mentioned before that I use to host a television show called "The Cutting Edge Chicago". It was a really cool gig because we were always meeting famous singers. Here's a picture of the "skinny" me about 15 years ago.

The people in the photo are, (from left to right), My good friend Mark (one of the producers of the show), My other really good friend Mike, (producer and director of the show). Singer and heavy metal rocker, Ronnie James Dio. And last, but not least, the host of the show, SKINNY ME! (Also, I would like you to dig on my awesome Peter Brady hair perm!) LOL!

This photo is special to me just because it brings back a whole bunch of really great memories of when I was younger and when we were just having the time of our lives without any major cares yet! Good times... Good times!

Until next time... PEACE!

Fun Day Out With The Family !

2009-02-15T21:08:00.029-06:00

With the little time I have to spend with the family, on my day off we always like to do something fun together.

Today we decided to treat the kids to a day at the Kohl Children's Museum.

We started off the day with a nice breakfast at Denny's and after filling our tummies up with pancakes, it was off the the Museum.

You just can't help yourself when you get into this place, but as an adult you turn into a child yourself. This place is just too cool!

The first place we visited in the museum was "The Dominick's Grocery Store".

Here children learn how to shop within a budget, learn about nutrition, and how a grocery store operates.

So naturally, the first place to visit at the store is the ATM to get your "play money".

The children can take turns at different roles in the store.

Shopper, (complete with shopping carts "just their size").

Checkout person. (With real "beeping" bar code scanner and cash register)

Or even the Deli manager. (I'll take 1lb of Swiss cheese please Miss Vivi).

The kids loved it and wanted to do it over and over again.

Next it was over to the "Auto Center".

Here the kids learned how an engine, brakes, steering and a car wash works. Vivi even grabbed a wrench and went to work.

Then, pretending to be a car, went through the car "kid" wash. Becky even went through it and got a good air dry at the end. LOL!

Then the kids decided to put me into a big car seat and buckle me in.

Then it was over to the "Doll Day Care".

Here the kids learn how to take care of a baby. They have to do everything from the feeding, burping and dressing, to the diaper changing and put them down for a nap. (This was one of Vivi's favorite places of the day).

After putting the babies down for the night, it was off to become a Veterinarian over at the "Pet Vet" doctors office.

The kids put on their doctor uniforms and stethoscopes and started taking care of the sick animals.

They gave them all checkups and looked at their X-Rays and then fixed up all the animal boo-boos.

Next, it was time for the kids to get a job over at Potbelly's taking orders and making sandwiches.

Emerson is a whiz at the cash register.

Vivi on the other hand took on the job needed to be done in the kitchen.

Becky even got her very own "bean bag milkshake".

After a busy lunch rush at Potbelly's, it was time to go relax with a good book over at the "Play Library".

Emerson took on the role as a librarian and managed to play a game on company time on the library computer.

Meanwhile, Vivi enjoyed a story read to her by Becky.

After a nice little break of reading, we walked over to the "Hands On House". Here we learned all there was to building a house.

We painted walls, laid carpet, hung wallpaper, laid brick, hung shingles, and brought supplies up to the roof via a conveyor lift.

After doing some well needed home repair, we walked over the docks where the girls learned about boats as well as the local wild life in and around a lake.

On our way to the next exhibit, Becky and I passed by a fun house mirror. We looked so thin we just HAD to take a picture! LOL!

Our next stop was at the "Water Works".

Everything you ever wanted to know about water, but were afraid to ask! Everything from water power to how plumbing works.

OKAY... Small break from the museum trip for a public service announcement.

It was here in the Water Works exhibit where one should learn a few very valuable lessons.

#1. If you are going to take your child, (or someone else's child), to a place meant for children, DO NOT wear clothing that might expose your "crotchless panties".

#2. If you chose to wear this item of undergarment and risk the chance of it being seen, make sure Matt & Becky are not around because they WILL take a picture of it and post it on a blog! LOL!

Now back to our regularly scheduled museum blog...

After our "exciting" visit to the Water Works, it was off to "Music Makers".

Here we not only learned about different kinds of instruments and how they worked, but different ways to use music to help those with visual and hearing impairments. Quite interesting.

After some musical fun, we went over to "All About Me".

Our first stop here was for the kids to apply there very own face paint. Emerson went with love and flower power, while Vivi said she was a "Fierce Tiger"!

Next they "put on a show" on a small stage and got to see themselves on TV.

Then it was off to learn a little science.

Work on making shapes.

And then get lost in a maze!

Our last stop was at the "Adventures In Art" exhibit. Here the kids put their creative juices to work on paper.

While Vivi decided to work with markers, Emerson tried her hand at roll paint art.

Roll Paint Art is when you put a piece of paper in a box and then cover golf balls with different colored paint, throw them in the box and then move the box around so that the balls covered in paint roll over the paper. Here's Em's latest masterpiece.

And THAT my friends was our family fun trip to the Kohl Children's Museum. I hope you had fun reading about it, because we sure had fun doing it!

Until next time... PEACE!!!

Just One Of Many Ways...

2009-02-08T19:41:00.008-06:00

During this month of February, the word "LOVE" is found all over the place. Being this is the month that we celebrate St. Valentine's Day, and seeing the "love" all around me, I was wondering...

How many ways are there to actually say, "I Love You"?

Some use words.

In Hindi one would say "Main tumse muhabbat karta hoon". In Bengali, "Aami tomaake bhaalo baashi". Farsi would be "Tora dost daram". If you spoke Arabic you would say, "Ana ahebik". Japanese, "Kimi o ai shiteru". Perhaps Chinese, "Ngo oi ney". Heck, you can even say it in Pig Latin, "I-yea Ove-lea Ou-yea".

Others can use actions.

A romantic trip, flowers or candy. Perahpes a kiss or a hug.

Now some, on the other hand, might even use... Tattoos!

I was always against the idea of a tattoo until a few years ago. My wife Becky had gotten one before I did. But at the time she had gotten hers I still wasn't to keen on the idea.

About a year after Becky had gotten her tattoo, I had finally decided to "show my love" for her by getting one!

Becky's first tattoo was of a small shark. Becky has always had a fascination with sharks. As a child she had always wanted to be a Marine Biologist. This always followed her for her entire life. So her first tattoo being a shark was a natural choice.

So, in honor of Becky and my love for her, my first tattoo was a shark... But because it was Becky, it had to be a "cool" shark! So this is what I had put on my back just above my left shoulder blade.

My next tattoo would be an "I love you" to our oldest daughter, Emerson.

After Emerson was born her nickname was "Sunny", (for the "son" in Emerson). That nickname lasted until she went to daycare and there everyone called her Emmy.

But before that happened, I had already gotten my tattoo for her. So for Emerson, or Sunny, this is what I had put on my upper right arm.

Next came our youngest daughter Vivienne. Vivi was a tough one. I didn't get one for her right away because, well... Nothing ever quite fit! I didn't want to just put her name on my arm. Whatever I put on me had to represent her in some sort.

It was two years after she was born that it finally came to us. She used to give Becky and I a "look", and that look just happened to make her look like her favorite cartoon character. It would crack us up so much!

That cartoon character that she loved so much and whom she just happened to be able to look like was... Curious George!

So my "I love you" to Vivi was put on my upper left arm.

So there you have it. Just one of the many many ways I have decided to show my family that I love them.

Until next time.... PEACE!

Attack of the Text (Part II)

2009-01-26T21:24:00.005-06:00

I know how much a lot of you enjoy this and I've gotten a few e-mails recently asking me when I was going to do this again.

So for all of you that have been waiting, here it is!

More text messages between Becky and myself.

B: How much do you love me?

M: Very much!

B: Good! I want something?

M: I KNEW IT! What?

B: There's a Twilight convention coming to town in Feb. I want to go!

M: Ok. What's the date? I'll see if I'm working.

B: Feb 6th-8th.

M: I check and see my schedule.

B: Great! Tickets are $250 to $425.

(15 minutes go by)

B: Hello? Are you there?

M: Sorry... I passed out for a moment. And this will be the ONLY time you'll ever hear me say this... Thank God I'm working that weekend!

B: I knew you didn't really love me!

M: Hate you! See you tonight! xoxoxo

........................................................................

B: Guess what?

M: Chicken butt.

B: Knock it off. Now guess what?

M: Chicken hut

B: You're a jerk. You know why?

M: Chicken thigh

B: What's with you?

M: Chicken poo.

B: I have something to say! Don't you care?!

M: Chicken hair

B: You're not funny!

M: Ooohhh... Come on! Where's your sense of humor?

B: I'm not talking to you anymore!

M: Chicken store

............................................................................

M: I just got off the expressway and I took a picture for you!

B: Is that the "Our Lady of the Underpants"?

M: Our Lady of the WHAT???

B: Underpants

M: LMAO! It's "Our Lady of the UnderPASS"!!!

B: It always sounds like they are saying "underpants" when they talk about it on the news.

M: It's in the UNDERPASS under the expressway! I thought that was the biggest clue about the name! Why would there be a Lady of the Underpants? LOL!

B: Maybe she's the Lady of just YOUR underpants!

M: Why's that?

B: Well, they're pretty "holy". LOL!

M: You need prayer!

...................................................................

M: Remember that picture I took for you 3 days ago of the "Our Lady of the Underpants?

B: Yeah.

M: Within the last 3 days, someone has painted over her again!

B: People suck

.................................................................

M: On March 23rd I want to go to the Rosemont Theater.

B: Who's going to be there?

M: It's the Davy & David Show!

B: The what???

M: Davy Jones and David Cassidy are on tour together! I think it would be a HOOT!

B: Yeah, If your a 55 year old woman!

M: So I'll take that as a "no".

...............................................................

B: I found something online that I NEED to buy!

M: OMG!!! What is it?!!

B: Body spray, lotion and lip balm that will make me smell like Edward from Twilight! It's honey, lilac and sunshine!

M: I guess the saying is true.

B: What?

M: There really IS a sucker born every minute! LOL!

B: Shut up! It's handmade by fans and they have a 100% rating.

M: Oh well then! If it's handmade by fans, it must be worth every penny!

B: I'm getting it!

M: I'll give you the credit card number right now, if you can answer me a question.

B: What?

M: What the &%@# does "sunshine" smell like and how do they make it?

B: I'm guessing it smells like a summers day. You know how different weather has a type of "smell", just like when it rains?

M: I wasn't expecting an actual explanation that made sense. LOL! Here's the number...

B: Thanks!!! I love you!

M: And I promise to love you when your skin falls off because some "fan" has a bad day and puts acid in your sunshine.

B: You really take the piss out of everything don't you? I'm still getting it!

...............................................................................

B: I just got off the phone with (a friend) and she's bawling her eyes out!

M: What's wrong?

B: She just had a fight with her husband and she broke up with her boyfriend last night.

M: Whoa, whoa, whoa... She broke up with her boyfriend? What BOYFRIEND???? I'm so out of the loop!

B: Well, he's not really her boyfriend!

M: I'm lost?

B: She met this guy where she works and they've become... Close. But not in a sexual way.

M: So, she's never actually been with or is seeing this guy?

B: No

M: Then How do you "break up" with someone when you've never been together? I'm confused!

B: They weren't together together. Just together. God, you're such guy sometimes.

M: Let me see if I have this right... They were together, but not together together. They both wanted to be together together, but because she's married they decided to just stay together, but never together together. Now... Because she didn't trust herself to not get together together with him, she broke up with him so they won't be together at all. Right?

B: Yeah, you got it!

M: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE &%$# I JUST SAID!

B: And you were doing so well! LOL!

The Blue Ridge Gal Interviewed Lil' 'ol' ME!

2009-01-20T00:50:00.006-06:00

Wow! The Blue Ridge Gal interviewed me and I have to say, they are some very excellent questions!

So let's get started!...

TBRG: I think it's fantastic that you started blogging, something many husbands do not do. In what way has blogging brought you and your wife closer since she is a very active blogger?

ME: I don't know about blogging bringing us "closer" per say. If anything, it has created an argument or two.

It's hard to share ONE computer in the house. I guess I'm going to have to cave in and get her that laptop she's been wanting.

I think that was her plan all along. Get me interested in something and then not give me a chance to do it. LOL!

But seriously, I really do enjoy it. We both do! I have a lot of fun reading her blog, as she does mine. It's fun to just sit with each other and brainstorm on what we should each blog about next. It's more of a "What do you think about this?", or a "You should write about that!", thing.

TBRG: Your blog shows that you take a great interest in your daughters. If there is one lesson you want them to learn and remember in life what would that be?

ME: Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff! LOL! Just kidding!

I guess it would be the age old lessons of "Judge not, least thee be judged", "Never Judge a book by its cover" and "Treat others as you yourself would want to be treated".

We teach our children to respect all aspects of life.

Be kind and courteous to everyone. Never dismiss a person for the color of their skin, the way they look, their sexual preferences, economical status or any handicaps.

Never look at a person from the "outside" but rather from the "inside", how they act and the actions they make. Only then can you tell what a person is all about and only then can you decide if you want that person in your life.

TBRG: I know it's frigid cold in Chicagoland area right now, but when the weather warms up what is your favorite place to go in Chicago and why?

ME: Wow! There are SO MANY great things to in Chicago, I don't know where to start!

We love a good baseball game at Wrigley Field cheering on our Cubbies. (Is THIS our year?) LOL!

We love the zoo's here. Both Lincoln Park and Brookfield.

We love going to the endless amount of museums in Chicago. A few of our favorites are: The Kohl's Children Museum, The Museum of Science and Industry, The Field Museum Of Natural History, The Shedd Aquarium, The Adler Planetarium, and The Art Institute of Chicago.

But I would have to say, one of our FAVORITE things to do is take the hour drive up to McHenry, IL. on a nice summer's night and enjoy a double feature at the McHenry Outdoor Drive-In Theater!

We are always on the lookout for the unusual and hard to find places to go to. We are true believers that when we go somewhere, it's not always the destination that's most important, but rather the adventure of getting there together!

TBRG: Your job keeps you mighty busy with long grueling hours which most likely does not give you much time to be the family cook. BUT, do you cook and if so what is your favorite thing to cook and why?

ME: I LOVE to cook! I'm mostly a "Meat and Potatoes" guy but I do have a few favorites to make! The family requests a few of my dishes when they know I'm going to be home to make something.

Let me grab my recipe cards out of the box and I'll go ahead and share with you the "Top 3" of my favs to make:

#1: MMM (Matt's Meatballs in Mushroom Sauce). I guess if I have a "signature dish", this would be the one.

Ingredients:
1 pound lean ground beef
3/4 cup quick-cooking oats
1/4 cup finely chopped onion, or about half of a small onion
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 large eggs
2 1/2 cups milk, divided
1 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cans (10 3/4 oz) condensed mushroom soup

Preparation:

In a large bowl combine beef, oats, onion, garlic powder, seasoned salt, pepper, eggs, and 1/2 cup milk (mixture will be soft). Using about 2 tablespoons of mixture per meatball, shape 18 to 20 meatballs.

In large skillet melt butter and oil and brown several meatballs at a time, turning carefully with spatula. As meatballs brown, remove to a 13x9x2-inch baking dish.

To the drippings in skillet add the remaining 2 cups of milk and the soup; cook and stir just until mixture begins to boil. Pour over meatballs.

Cover and bake at 350° for about 60 minutes or until meatballs are thoroughly cooked. Serve over mashed potatoes or noodles. This recipe for meatballs serves 4.

#2: Popeye Pie (Okay, it's Spinach Quiche, but I called it Popeye Pie to fool the kids into at least TRYING it! It worked! They love it!)

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 cup butter
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 (4.5 ounce) can mushrooms, drained
1 (6 ounce) package herb and garlic feta, crumbled
1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 (9 inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust
4 eggs, beaten
1 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste

Preparation:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

In a medium skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Saute garlic and onion in butter until lightly browned, about 7 minutes. Stir in spinach, mushrooms, feta and 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Spoon mixture into pie crust.

In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and milk. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into the pastry shell, allowing egg mixture to thoroughly combine with spinach mixture.

Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Sprinkle top with remaining Cheddar cheese, and bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes, until set in center.

Allow to stand 10 minutes before serving. Makes 6 servings.

#3. Dad's Goulash (My dad was famous for this very easy to make dish. Now it's up to me to keep it going!)

Ingredients:

1 1/4 lb Hamburger
3/4 c onion - chopped
2 stalks celery
1/2 c green pepper
1 pkg creamettes
1 can whole tomatoes
2 tbls sugar
3/4 c Kraft BBQ sauce (Dad says it HAS to be Kraft!)

Directions:

Brown hamburger, remove from heat and set aside. Cook creamettes macaroni noodles firm.

Add can of whole tomatoes and BBQ sauce to hamburger and mix well.

Stir the rest of the ingredients together with hamburger mixture and put into a medium casserole dish.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 1 hour.

I hope everyone tries these! And if you do, let me know what you think!

TBRG: You said that you were an art major. What is your favorite artistic medium. Painting, sculpture, acting, or music? And do you practice any of them?

ME: Wow! It's IMPOSSIBLE for me to just pick one! I love doing them all so much!

I love to paint with acrylics, partly because of the easy clean up, (just use water), and also for the fast drying time.

I love to sculpt as well. Clay would be my favorite, but I've worked with metal and wood as well.

I have a HUGE passion for both acting and music. I was in every play and musical in High School. I did a lot of Summer Theater in the late 80's and early 90's.

My favorite plays I've been in were "The Diary of Adam & Eve" and "Pure As The Driven Snow". I had the lead in both of those plays and my wife Becky was in "Pure As The Driven Snow" with me before we even started dating!

As far as acting goes... Some friends and I put together a couple of cable television shows. The first was a show called "The Crazy Zone". It was a comedy show similar to "Saturday Night Live", in which we would film a bunch of short comedy skits.

The second show was called "The Cutting Edge Chicago". This was actually a pretty professional show. It was a musical show in which I interviewed local Chicago bands and let them perform a song they wanted to promote. We would have 3 local bands on the show and then interview one "famous" entertainer every week. I was the host of the show.

Because of "The Cutting Edge", I had the opportunity to meet several musical celebrities and groups. Some of which include Twisted Sister, Ronnie James Dio, Iron Maden, Bon Jovi and Tony Bennett.

In fact, when The Smashing Pumpkins were still a local Chicago band I interviewed them. We always sent each weeks shows to record producers. A few months later they were signed, and our show was thanked in the liner notes on their first professional album. That was pretty cool!

We even won a "Cable Ace Award", for best interview show. Oprah was up for the same award that year, and WE WON IT! YEAH BABY! LOL!

After doing the show for 7 years, that was around that time that all of us guys got married and "the gang" sort of drifted apart as our interests were more focused on starting our new lives with our wives and starting families. The show just sort of faded away. But I still miss it to this day.

As far as music goes... I LOVE to perform! I am what some would consider a "Master Impressionist". I can make my voice sound like darn near anyone. (I was told by the kids that they love it when I read them stories, because I can do all of the voices. LOL!) Becky has even caught herself peeking into their bedroom to see if it's me reading, or if they are watching a movie.

I love to go to Karaoke Bars! I like to sing songs and sound like Elvis, Dean Martin, Willie Nelson and Neil Diamond.

For a time I was an Elvis impersonator. I have the jumpsuits and everything!

My biggest thrill was to be able to perform in Las Vegas! I've won several contests and awards for my Elvis shows. And I'm proud to say that have never come in less than 3rd place in any contest I've ever entered!

But if I really had my choice, I would love to start a Big Band, sing the old classics, (in my own voice), and just have a ball!

Now it's your turn. If you would like me to interview you just leave a comment and I will email you the questions!

Here's the directions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Six Word Saturday (and some other stuff)

2009-01-10T22:30:00.008-06:00

My wife Becky posted a blog from an idea she got from someone else and she told me to give it a shot.

The rules are to use only 6 words to sum up how your week was.

Well, I don't know about the week, so how about just today...

Where the hell is my car?

And just as an added bonus, (for those of you who really want the snow), here's some more pictures of the "dig out".

Here's a picture of Becky with one of her new favorite gadgets... A big warm fuzzy glove with an ice scraper built into it!

And just to give you an idea of how much it snowed in Chicago today, take a look at the roof line of the car... Now look at the 12 inches of snow on the top of the car!!!

You still want the snow??? You can have it! LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

I Would Like To Thank The Acadamy!

2009-01-08T23:47:00.000-06:00

My blog is the recipient of the above award.

I can't thank Kat from Poetikat's Blasts From the Past... (A Generation-X Time-Trip) enough for this honor. If you have never seen her blog, it is a MUST see. She never fails to bring back some really great memories of my youth and always puts a smile on my face!

Kat decided to pass this award onto 3 worthy recipients. So I have decided to do the same.

And so I give to you the 3 deserving winners and they are, (in no particular order):

Iggy over at Intense Guy . This man is a very talented writer and has an amazing gift to bring out the beauty in things we would ordinarily pass right by. He seems to be on a never ending search for knowledge and as I am the same way, (they don't call me the fountain of useless information for nothing), I believe he truly deserves this award.

Next is The Blue Ridge Gal . This is one of my favorite blogs out there. She has an amazing talent for photography and takes some of the most beautiful pictures I've seen, (and remember, I'm an Art Major from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, so I know what I'm talkin' about! LOL!). She has a special knack for telling a great story and when you go over to her blog, try and find the ones where she uses Barbie and Ken dolls for the "actors" in her stories. Too funny! A true talent in my opinion and another blog NOT to miss! Oh, and she slurps when she drinks her coffee... Now that's my kinda gal!

And last but not least, and trust me when I say it, this is NOT a cop-out... My wife Becky over at Living the Life with the Wife of Riley . What can I say about Becky that she hasn't already said about herself? LOL! When you read her blog you will soon discover why I love this woman with all of my heart! I love to read her blog every night after coming home from a long day at work. No matter how bad a day I've had, and I think you'll all agree, her blog can pick you right up again. And yes, she REALLY IS THAT FUNNY in real life. I can't remember a SINGLE DAY when we haven't had a good laugh together. She inspires me to be a better person everyday, and for that I am truly grateful.

There are so many great, fun, wonderful and unique blogs out there and I encourage you all to take a look at my sidebar for a bunch more.

But as I see it, these three merit the "Best Blogs of 2008" designation.

Congratulations you three!

Now just don't sit there... Go check them out!

So... At What Point Do You Call Someone A Stalker?

2009-01-06T13:33:00.000-06:00

Well, our "ex" friend has struck again!

This post might be a little long... Just sayin'.

You all remember the Ex Friend I'm talking about? If not go back to my post "Wifey has the Blues" and it'll all come back to you.

So THIS time, she has decided to e-mail EVERYONE I know and tell them that they should go straight to my Facebook and MySpace pages. This e-mail INCLUDES MY WIFE!

The FIRST e-mail to Becky read as follows:

"You need to look at Matt's facebook."

That was it. That's all that was written.

So Becky called me, (I was at work at the time), and she asked me, "Is there something I shouldn't see on your facebook?

With nothing to hide, I answered "No... Why?"

"Well, according to (ex-friend) I'm supposed to look at it!", Becky replied.

"Ok", I answered, "Here... You can even have my user name and password so you can really see it ALL."

So, Becky looked it up and read EVERY WORD written on there. Then after I got home, we went on it together and looked over it again.

NOTHING! We could find NOTHING that was bad! So I went ahead and put my user settings to "Private" so (ex-friend) can't go there anymore.

So today Becky gets another e-mail from her. THIS ONE reads as follows:

"Did you see Matt's facebook? I know it's none of my business but I can't get past what I saw on there and if you don't know, you need to... His profile is set to private now but I printed the sheets of what he had on there. Please tell me what is going on and if you saw it. This is not about hurting you, I swear."

Well, I told Becky to go ahead and reply to her and ask her what it is exactly we're "supposed" to be seeing on there.

So (ex-friend) went ahead and faxed SEVERAL PAGES off my facebook to Becky.

There she CIRCLED things and DREW LINES WITH ARROWS pointing at all the incriminating evidence!

(Insert dramatic soap opera music here... Dum Dum Daaaaaaaaaaa!!!)

Now, if you are not familiar with facebook, there is a special feature on there called "Super Poke".

Super Poke is where you can go to send your friends silly and funny comments with a picture added to it. The pictures are of cartoon animals acting out the comment you send.

The "prewritten" comments include things like: "Use the Force on...", "Throw a Snowball at...", "Sit by the fire with...", "Play strip poker with...", "Give a hug to...", "Throw a thong at...".

You get the picture.

So anyways, here's what we found out all the fuss was about, and remember Becky has seen and knows ALL ABOUT THIS!

It turns out that I have a friend on facebook. Not just any old friend, but one of my BEST Friends from High School. This friend of mine just happens to be female.

We've always had a very platonic relationship. Neither one of us has ever found each other, ummm... how shall I say this... Sexually attractive to one another.

She was always "one of the guys" in our group. And I guess to her I was always just "one of the girls" for that matter. LOL!

Anyways, my friend moved to Canada about 15 years ago but we've always kept in touch. She is VERY happily married with two young boys.

When she comes into town Becky, the girls and I always meet up with her and her family at least one or two of the days she's here and we all go out to dinner or take the kids mini golfing or bowling and generally talk about old times and laugh until it hurts!

Her and I even organized our entire 20 year High School Reunion together!

Well, apparently thought we were having a "hot and heavy" affair! Oooooo...

You see, I guess I'm guilty of "Playing Strip Poker with" her and she's guilty of "Having a Slumber Party with" me on Super Poke. Oh My GOD! Becky's calling the divorce lawyer right now! LMAO!

So anywho's... Here's the point of this blog.... WHAT THE HELL IS HER PROBLEM???

Here's what Becky and I can't figure out. If (ex-friend) hates me SO much why is she always going to my facebook and MySpace pages to look at them? And what's worse, PRINTING OUT all of the pages from my sites!

And THEN, to e-mail EVERYBODY I know to go look at it!

Does that sound as creepy as I'm making it out to be???

Would that be considered boarder line "stalker-ish".

But not only that, but our favorite part is in her e-mail to Becky is when she says, "This is not about hurting you, I swear."

Hmmmm.... You print out several of pages of things to incriminate your husband, basically saying "he's cheating on you", knowing full and well that IF IT WERE TRUE would break up your family and turn your life upside down. But.... "This is not about hurting you".

Oh, and just one more thing. I love the way she naturally "assumed" once again that I was doing something wrong!

I mean picture this... I'm going to cheat on my wife. What I'll do is go online, go to a VERY public page where every friend Becky and I have can see what I'm doing anytime they want. Becky will NEVER find out what's going on that way! What the F#@&!???

Makes sense to me! LOL!

What do you do about a person like this? It's beyond me.

Until next time.... PEACE!

A New Year's Questionnaire

2008-12-31T20:31:00.000-06:00

A New Year's Questionnaire

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Have a 9 year old and a 4 year old children.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Broke them all on the first day of 2008 and OF COURSE! (it's tradition!) LOL!

3. Do you plan on having a child? No... And if I do I will spend the rest of my days as a freak of nature.

4. Did anyone close to you give birth? YES! My Niece gave birth to BEAUTIFUL new baby girl, Sophie.

5. Did anyone close to you die? My wife's Grandmother, but she lived in Florida so she wasn't close "proximity" wise.

6. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 2008? Well, according to 1950's movies about the future, this is the year we all start wearing tin foil.

7. What countries did you visit? Can I count all the countries at EPCOT? If yes, then ALL of them! If no, then only my good 'ol U S of A.

8. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A waist

9. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? July 12th. Becky turned 27 for the umpteenth time this year! May 20th, our 13 wedding anniversary, April 19 & Oct 27, the kids birthdays, Sept 6, I turned 40! And Nov 4th. (I think you can figure THAT one out.)

10. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 13 years of marriage without being killed by my wife.

11. What was your biggest failure? Not making the cut to be in the issue of PEOPLE'S 50 TOP MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE yet again!

12. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes, I fell off a ladder on May 3rd, dislocated my shoulder and was off work until July 3rd.

13. What was the best thing you bought? 42" flat screen TV.

14. Whose behavior merited celebration? Johnny Depp saved 6 extras on the set of his new movie by pushing them out of the way of an out of control stunt car. (Yes, Becky is behind me yelling at me to write that last sentence).

15. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Becky never fails to get this honor every year.

16. Where did most of your money go? Have I mentioned Becky and the kids?

17. Will you be moving? Yes, after I'm done with this blog I will be moving to the sofa.

18. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Disney trip we took in April.

19. What song will always remind you of 2008? Nutmeg (Thanks Blue Ridge Gal!) LOL!

20. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder?b) thinner or fatter?c) richer or poorer? Where is the "All of the Above" button???

21. What do you wish you’d done more of? Spend time with my family.

22. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spend time with my family.

23. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas Eve at my Mother-In-Law's house, Christmas morning at home with the kids, later that morning at me Father-In-Law's house and then later that day at my Mom's house. (I'm tired just reading that I DID all that!) LOL!

24. Did you fall in love in 2008? Everyday I wake up and see my wife, it's like falling in love all over again. (Becky is still yelling at me what I should write in the background).

25. What was your favorite TV program? True Blood

26. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No, but I have strong feelings against William Shattner for some reason.

27. What was the best book you read? Angels & Demons

28. What was your greatest musical discovery? I Kissed a Girl by Katie Perry

29. What did you want and get? Wii

30. What did you want and not get? New Car

31. What was your favorite film of this year? Batman Returns

32. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 40 and all of our friends went out with us to a Karaoke Bar and had a BLAST!

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Winning the lottery

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Lederhosen

35. What kept you sane? My day off

36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I have a total man crush on Barack Obama.

37. What political issue stirred you the most? The Presidential Election

38. Who did you miss? My Dad (passed away in 2000), I miss him everyday and my sister, she lives waayyyy up in Minnesota and I rarely get to see her.

39. Who was the best new person you met? ALL of my new blogging buddies! HEY! That's YOU!!

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. a) Webkins are more addicting than crack and just as expensive! b) No one is more stubborn than my youngest daughter Vivi, (yes Becky finally met her match). c) When life gives you lemons, throw them at the people that ticked you off!

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went....

A little bummed out.

2008-12-29T01:01:00.000-06:00

I got some sad news today and it sorta bummed me out a little bit!

Back in 2006 the family and I took a short trip out to Woodstock, IL. It's a small town with a lot of history behind it.

From the moment you get there you feel like you've been transported back to the 1940's or 50's.

And chances are that all of you have actually SEEN Woodstock, IL. How you ask?

Well, if you've ever seen the Bill Murray movie "Groundhog Day" it was the town they shot the movie in. (I have pictures of that too, but that's a blog for another day).

Anywho's, back to my story.

We are always looking for weird, out of the ordinary and different things to see and do as a family, so we went there in search of the "Dick Tracy Museum"! I think that would fall under that category. LOL!

Now why in the world would a Dick Tracy Museum be in Woodstock, IL.? Because Chester Gould, the artist and creator of Dick Tracy, made Woodstock his hometown!

The sad news that I got today was that the little museum had closed due to lack of funds and visitors.

But we had such a fun time there, I thought I'd share our little trip with you all.

So here we go.

The Museum is located inside the town's original Court House and Jail. They've turned the building into the town's Arts and Cultural Center.

Here's our oldest daughter Emerson at the entrance of the museum.

Donations are needed, (and well deserved), for this museum as they go to fund, not just the museum itself, but also the "Crimestoppers Youth Program." $2 per adult, kids 12 and under are free.

The museum itself is small. Two rooms total. The first, larger room, is filled from floor to ceiling with drawings and comic strips. Not of only Dick Tracy, but of everything Chester Gould had worked on in his career. Advertisements, drawings of furniture, as well as other comic strips. Everywhere you look there is the trademark Dick Tracy "yellow fedora".

The smaller room is a kid friendly "hands on" crime lab. This was a really fun room! In fact: In 2000, this room actually received a "Superior Achievement Award" from the Illinois Association of Museums and in 2001, received the "Award of Excellence" from the Illinois State Historical Society.

In the front of the museum is Chester Gould's actual drawing desk from his home office where thousands of Dick Tracy comics were drawn.

Here is a photo of Chester Gould at work at that desk.

Behind the front door is hand drawn works of some of the Dick Tracy classic villains, otherwise known as "The Rouge's Gallery".

Here are 2 cabinets filled with Dick Tracy memorabilia from the 1930's up to today.

Here's our daughters, Emerson and Vivienne, with Dick Tracy's younger partner, Junior.

In 1945 a USA Command Performance was held over the Armed Forces Radio for the fighting men of WW II. A full Dick Tracy Show was performed. The cast included such celebrities as Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope, Judy Garland and Bing Crosby.

Next is The Crime Lab Room. The crime lab is all "hands on" and the kids really had a lot of fun in here. Okay, okay... I'll admit it... My wife Becky and I had just as much fun as the kids did!

Here's Emerson at the "Forensic Station". Here they made a cast of a shoe print and you have to find the right shoe that made it. Also, there are finger prints. You have to look at the prints and then look at a page of other prints to find out who did the crime. Was it Flattop, Itchy or could it be Prune Face? Hmmmm....

Also in that station is a microscope and different small slides to look at the very, very small evidence left behind.

Next is the "Changeable Faces Station". Here, all the faces are mixed up. Your job is to match up the correct hair, eyes, nose and mouth. From there you will have the face of one of the many famous Dick Tracy villains.

Here's Emerson and Vivienne trying to figure them out.

(If you look around the room above you there are the pictures of all of the villains and their background stories. This will help you if you are not sure if the picture is correct.)

Next you are tested on your powers of observation at the "Put Dick Tracy In Historical Order Station". Above you are pictures of Dick Tracy from 1931 to 1975. You are given 15 of those pictures and you put them in the right order. Believe us... It sounds easy, but a little challenging. (Some of the pictures face the wrong way, etc.) Here's Becky taking up the challenge.

Next in line is the "Learn to Draw Dick Tracy Station". Here they give you step-by-step instructions on drawing him. It's a lot of fun and a nice little free souvenir!

The next "Station" is more informational than "hands-on". Here they show you how they make a Comic Strip Plate and how it works.

Next they show some surveillance methods. Here the girls can see themselves via "hidden camera" on a Television screen. The funniest part is to watch them try to locate the camera.

Next are some things from the 1990's Dick Tracy Movie.

This Station is also a game. All of the pictures are removable from the wall. The object of the game is to match three pictures, (like the one you see above). Match the actor, their Movie character and that character to whom they play with the Comic Strip character. (Once again... not the easiest of tasks!)

Well, our Dick Tracy adventure ends here. We had a lot of fun and we are now looking for the next thing to do.

The museum will be sadly missed but I'm just glad we had the chance to see it while it was still there.

And the best part is, we will always have the pictures and memories forever.

Until next time... Peace!

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me TEXT The Ways!

2008-12-27T23:32:00.000-06:00

Well, as you all know from one of my previous posts, I've lost the ability to text anyone from my work phone.

I can't believe how addicted I was to it until it got taken away!

As Popeye would say, "I've had alls I cans stands and I can'ts stands no mores!"

I came home tonight and put Becky and kids in the car and we drove off to the mall.

There it was in all it's shimmering glory... The Verizon Wireless kiosk.

It was there that I got Becky and I some brand new cell phones!

We picked up two new Verizon enV2 messaging phones!

But what's the BEST part of this phone???

TA DAAAA!!!

That's right! It flips open to reveal a full fledged keyboard!

Yeah baby! We're back to texting heaven! We signed up for the "Family Plan" with unlimited texting so we can write to each other all day without any worries that "big brother" is watching.

The other great thing about this phone is that we went ahead and got it loaded with all the goodies.

Unlimited Texting, GPS Tracking and Maps, MP3 music player, Camera and Video, Web Browser and Games.

So look for "The things that Becky and I text each other part 2" coming soon to a blog near you. LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2008-12-26T22:21:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone!

Go get your big bowl of Fruit Loops 'cause I found a doozie of a cartoon for today!

Sit back, relax and enjoy the Loony Tune classic, "Duck Amuck"!

Until next time... PEACE!

We Wish You A Chewy Christmas!

2008-12-25T03:13:00.000-06:00

I hope you all have a very, VERY Merry Christmas! And here's wishing that Santa has brought you everything you want!

Chewbacca

With Love and Peace always,

Matt

Stuck... Stuck... STUCK!!!!!

2008-12-21T17:05:00.000-06:00

Holy Hell it's cold out today here in the Chicagoland area!!!

Actual temperature reached a "high" of -3 degrees F, with a wind chill of -35.

So what does one do when it gets that cold out? Go out shopping of course!

Well, the truth be told, this was the ONLY day we had to go shopping before Christmas. I was off work and my Mom took the kids for a few days.

The amazing thing was that we actually got it all done! Becky and I will be resting for just a bit and then it's time to wrap them all.

There's only one thing left to get and I can't get that until Christmas Eve.

So anywho's... Just to give you an idea of the dangers of being out in this cold weather, we were leaving a store and after getting everything into car, "science" played a cruel trick on me.

Ever since I've been a kid I have a unconscious tendency to stick the tip of my tongue out when I'm concentrating really hard or working on something.

Well, I must have been doing this, without even realizing it, because as I went to get in the car I noticed I couldn't turn my head! The reason for this... My tongue had become stuck to the zipper of my jacket!

I said in shock, "Ny nung ie nuck nu ny nimma!!!"

"What?", replied Becky.

"NY NUNG IE NUCK NU NY NIMMA!!!!" I yelled.

"I can't understand you!" said Becky.

"NATS MENUZ NY NUNG IE NUCK!!!, I replied, beginning to flap my arms in a bird like motion.

Becky finally saw what was happening. Did she help? NO!

She got into the car laughing hysterically with the comforting words of, "You're a regular Einstein now aren't you?"

Ticked off, "Nuk nu!", was all I could muster.

But I'm happy to say warmth of the car was enough to get me unstuck and my tongue is now "zipper free".

So be careful out there kids and for the love of God... Keep your tongues in your mouth!!!

Until next time.... PEACE!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2008-12-20T23:14:00.000-06:00

Sorry this is so late, but once again work interfered with my blogging. What a crock! LOL!

Anywho's... Here is this weeks cartoon. One of my faves. An episode of "Fractured Fairy Tales"!

Enjoy!

Until next time... PEACE!

Becky Got Me BUSTED!

2008-12-18T23:05:00.000-06:00

So, I'm back to work this morning, fresh off my 5 day (with no pay) suspension for being 2 MINUTES late for work one day last week.

I walk into the office bright and early this morning and the boss looks at me and says, "Hey Matt! I need to see you before you leave out to go to your first job!"

He grabs two pieces of paper and says, "Come with me."

We go into one of the meeting rooms and he closes the door behind us. (I'm not worried about being fired because TWO of the bosses would need to be present for that.)

We have a seat and he says, "I need you to sign these."

I look at the pages. They are for a payroll deduction. One is for $204.34 and the other is for $168,76.

"We have noticed you've been doing a lot of unauthorized text messaging. And they all seem to be linked to one certain number!", my boss said.

"That would be my wife", I replied.

"I figured as much.", he responded. "Just know that all of your texts are MONITORED and this is not your phone... It's the company's phone."

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!! Why didn't I know that "Big Brother" was watching? I should have known better!

I called Becky and told her never to text me again on the company phone. She felt SO bad!

I, on the other hand, found it quite amusing. Not at the fact that I owe all that money, but the fact that my company read them all! You see... Both Becky and I will text each other FOR NO REASON AT ALL!!! Just to say something totally off the wall and silly. And the company saw them all! (Let alone all of our "Private Conversations".

Here's a few examples: (And yes, Becky gave me permission to put these on here... Even the more embarrassing ones... Well, you'll see...

B=Becky and M=Me (duh!)

***********************************

B: Kristen wants to know if you will sing at her wedding?

M: Sure! I'd be happy to do it!

B: Ok, I'll tell her. Also, her furnace growls loudly for a few minutes before the heat kicks on. Any ideas?

M: Yes, Tell her to stare at it and growl back. She has to let it know who is the Alpha Dog is in the house.

B: Shut up! Kristen wants to know if you want to be called "Reverend" at her wedding?

M: Call me "McLovin'"!

B: Not "Sexual Chocolate"?

M: How about "Sexual McLovin' Chocolate"?

B: Cool! It's going in the program.

*********************************

M: What am I supposed to do with the kids today?

B: Remember that muzzle and tight jacket thing they put on Hannibal Lecter? We need to invest in a couple of those.

M: Good idea!

********************************

B: Your oldest daughter got her picture taken for the newspaper.

M: Really? For what?

B: Three State killing spree

M: SWEET! They grow up so fast, don't they?

********************************

B: OMG!

M: WHAT?!

B: I swear Christmas just threw up all over this house I just drove by!

*******************************

B: Are you okay????

M: Yeah! I'm fine! Why?

B: I heard that there was a short bus accident and I know you don't like to wear your helmet because it makes it too hard for you to lick the windows! Just wanted to make sure you're alright.

M: You're twisted!

*******************************

M: What are you thinking about for things to do on Sunday?

B: Massive amounts of sleep, get up, eat, poop, more sleep, rinse & repeat.

*****************************

B: Oh the weather outside is frightful, warm sex sounds so delightful, when there's no one else you know, text a ho, text a ho, text a hooooo!

M: Oh yeah... You've lost it!

*****************************

B: My hair hurts! What's up with you?

*****************************

B: I have a temp of 99.8

M: Sorry Bay. Need anything?

B: presents.

****************************

B: Let me know when your coming home!

M: Rodger, Rodger

B: What's your vector Victor?

M: Downtown Chicago. Over, Under.

B: You need prayer.

****************************

B: I just noticed my pubic is straight!

M: Great! I'll put it in my next blog!

***************************

So that's just a VERY SMALL sample of what I paid $373.10 for! LOL!

Becky now refuses to go to the office Christmas party. But really... Can you blame her? LMAO!

Until next time.... PEACE!

A Small Token Of My Appreciation

2008-12-17T09:42:00.000-06:00

For all of you that took the time to actually read that insanely long post of mine and to then go over to Becky's blog and post, not JUST a comment, but true words of support, encouragement, concern and most importantly your love, I wish to give you all an award.

I have noticed in my short time here in Bloggerland that, although we have never met, and chances are we never will, friendships are made here!

I had told myself that if I was going to do this "blogging thing" it was going to be a place for me to help bring a smile to the faces of total strangers.

I did not care about how many comments I got or how many followers I had.

This was going to a place where I could write things down, share some funny stories and by doing so, pass along small random acts of kindness.

A place where people could go to relax, get a good chuckle after a hard day and forget, (if even just for a moment), bad and negative things.

Seeing my wife in pain, I knew I would have to write that "not so happy" post and I have to say, you all came through with flying colors!

For that I am truly grateful to you all!

So as a HUGE "Thank You" and as a small token of my appreciation, I give to each of you that gave those great words of support to my wife this award and I hope you will put it on your blog page as you all truly deserve it!...

With LOVE & PEACE!

Matt

Wifey Has The Blues

2008-12-15T20:57:00.000-06:00

My wife Becky had a really BAD day today. It would be hard to explain what happened to her today unless you know the whole story.

So, I'm going to clue you in on the whole sorted thing in hopes that you can truly know what's going on with her.

I'll warn you all right off the bat, this might be a long post. But after you're done reading it, I will hope you could go over to her blog and show her a little love. Thanks.

Well, I guess the best place to start is at the beginning...

At the beginning of the summer of 2005 we, here in Chicago, got blasted by a very early heat wave. The temperatures soared into the upper 90's for days.

I was a brand new employee with the company I'm currently with and this was the first time I was ever exposed to a 24 straight hour work day.

Well, Becky and I had a best friend that we've had for almost 20 years! She called Becky and told her that her parents A/C had went out.

Now please note that, not only does her parents live in the house, but so does her sister, her brother-in-law and her 5 year old niece.

She asked Becky if I could please go over and fix the A/C for them. (I had done this for them in the past at no charge to them. I was glad to do it and they we're like family to us, so I never minded it). And besides that, our friend helped me get the job with the new company I was working for, so it was the least I could do for her!

With the 24 hour days I was working, (I had to work a few of them in a row), I couldn't get to our friend's parents house right away. It took me a few days until I could get just a moment to get over there, and even then it wound up being around 10:00 at night.

Well, from what I could tell, the compressor had went bad and I had to give them the bad news that they needed a new A/C unit.

Now, I won't lie, the company I work for is NOT the cheapest company out there. I priced them out an A/C unit that would be the same size they had and then I took off what the company allowed us to take off, (this would give me a commission of ZERO!).

I didn't have any "connections" out there in the A/C business, so at the time this happened, this was the BEST I could personally do for them. (The price included installation of the unit by my company, and that of course, brought the price up).

Our friend's sister gave me a credit card and said to order it right away. With this, I handed the credit card BACK TO HER!

I explained that just because this was the best I could do, didn't mean there were not other company's out there that were cheaper. So, I told them to shop around a little bit. I also gave them the option of just buying a couple of window units. This would have cost them only a few hundred dollars rather than a few thousand. But they said they didn't want to go in that direction.

I did promise them I would still ask around a try to get them a cheaper price. (Don't forget, the unit needs to be INSTALLED as well, and with the hours I was pulling, I just didn't have time for a big job like that!)

Just a side note: How our friend got me the job was, a friend of hers that she went to school with, married a man that worked for the company I work for now. As a favor to our friend, her friend's husband said that I was a good friend of his and got me the job.

The VERY NEXT DAY I went to go see him. I told him the whole story and if he knew anyone or anywhere I could get an A/C unit for less money.

He told me "no" and "sorry, that sucks for them".

I was at a dead end and I had to call our friend's parents to tell them the bad news.

Anyways... Both Becky and I noticed that our friend had become very distant.

I walked over to her place, (we live in the same complex, separated only by a small courtyard), with our oldest daughter, who was 6 at the time, just to say "Hi" and see if her parents got a new A/C yet.

Her door was open and as we walked up she saw us and just said, "I can't talk right now! I'm busy!". So Em and I went home. (This was NOT like our friend! She always had a very "welcome" and "Come on in" attitude). Emerson was very upset over this incident. She had never been turned away by her "Aunt" before.

She still e-mailed and talked to Becky as if nothing had happened, but she wouldn't go out with us if I was going along. She refused to go to Becky's birthday party because, "She was busy that day", and if I saw her she would still say "hi" to me, but whenever I tried to talk to her, she always had an excuse that she had to go quickly.

Okay, so flash forward 5 MONTHS.

I saw that our friend was on MySpace. I e-mailed her and asked her why she hadn't asked me to be on her "friend's list" yet. I got a return e-mail saying:

"I can't pretend to be your friend any longer! Nobody hurts my family the way you did and gets away with it! I don't know how this will effect Becky's and I relationship. But I cannot forgive you for what you've done and I don't know if I ever will be able to! I don't know why you did what you did and I really don't care! I don't want to talk about this with you!"

As you can imagine, this TOTALLY blind sided Becky and I both.

At this time we honestly had NO idea, a) What I did wrong and b) That there was really even a problem!

Becky was DEVASTATED! She cried for days after I got the e-mail and it was truly the bluest I have ever seen my wife. It took her MONTHS to get over what had happened.

Flash forward to the present...

Well, as of late, (the past 6 months), our friend had begun to e-mail Becky again. Just a simple question here or there, or a quick, "I was thinking about you" note.

Becky was being very cautious because of what the whole incident had done, not just to her, but to the kids as well.

Well, today all the scars from the old wounds were re-opened.

She e-mailed Becky asking her a bunch of questions about her new neighbor and our landlord.

So, after a few e-mails back and forth between Becky and her, Becky decided to finally find out what had happened and at the same time express her felling about the whole matter.

About how she blind sided us, and exactly why, after 20 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP she didn't think she could just call us or come over and talk about it. Why did she just naturally assume that I would knowingly and willfully do anything to hurt her or her family, or better yet, risk our long friendship over a stupid Air Conditioner!

Becky also expressed her feeling about what this had done to our family and the kids.

Well, she let Becky have it!

Calling me a liar and a cheat. She was mad because I didn't help her family right away and that it took me days to get over there! Then she told Becky that she had talked to the guy that helped me get my job and he told her that I was basically ripping her off and that HE could get an A/C unit for her for much cheaper.

Yes, that's right... The same guy I went to for HELP and he told me "No" and "That sucks for them"! (Nice guy, huh?)

I had NO this had happened at that time! (But as karma worked it's magic, it turns out he got fired soon after all this happened because he was found stealing from the company!) But yet she's still friends with him and his wife!

In short, she got mad at Becky for not taking HER SIDE!

Becky explained to her that, first of all, how was she supposed to take sides when both her and I had no idea what she was talking about and secondly, sorry, but I am her husband and why would she take her side for something as minor as the price of an air conditioner.

With this, she sent Becky another e-mail saying: "I'm so mad at you right now I can't even see straight! Don't e-mail me anymore!"

And let me just add this. Since this whole thing happened, Becky has never e-mailed her first. It was always her that e-mailed Becky and then Becky would always reply.

What hurts us the most is the fact that she NEVER came to us at the time all this went down. A simple, "Hey, what's going on? I was just told this" would have cleared up the whole thing!!! We could have rectified the entire situation right then and there!

But instead she decided to just cut us off and end the 20 year friendship. I've been telling Becky that, if she did that, she really wasn't a true friend in the first place. TRUE friends don't do that to each other.

But it's still hard for Becky. She was BEST friends with her before Becky and I even started dating!

I feel there is something deeper going on, I just don't know what. I can't help believe that for some other reason she wanted to end the friendship, she just used this as an opportunity to do it. Actually, I just don't get it.

It just hit Becky again, and it hit her hard! I don't know what to do to help her with this. When Becky gets the blues, she REALLY gets the blues. All I can do is be here for her and listen to her, but no matter what I say, it doesn't seem to help much.

So like I asked before, show her some love and I believe as a group we can help her out.

Thanks for listening.

Until next time... PEACE!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

2008-12-13T20:12:00.000-06:00

You know that strange moment, somewhere between dreaming and real life?

Well, both Becky and I have had some weird moments this past week that, after looking back on them, had us laughing so hard at each other tonight that I thought I would share them with you.

Last Sunday afternoon, I decided to lay down and take a short nap. (I don't remember anything after I hit the pillow!).

About 2 hours later, Becky tried waking me up.

I honestly couldn't tell you what I was dreaming about, but the conversation went like this...

Becky: "Matt... Time to get up."

Me: "Okay. Be right there.em>5 minutes pass

Becky: "MATT!... It's time to get up!"

Me: "I'm getting up! Just give me a minute, okay?!"(5 minutes pass)

"MATT!!! GET OUT OF BED NOW!"

Me: "I'm almost done with the lights! Just give a minute!"

Becky: "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Me: "I'm working on the Christmas lights! I almost have them fixed!(10 second pause)

Becky: "You're dreaming you dumb bastard... Get out of the bed NOW!"

******************************************************

Well, this morning it was Becky's turn at the dreaming helm.

That went like this...I get out of bed, right after Becky, and I follow her into the living room. Becky sits down at the computer right away and is googling and frantically searching for something.

Becky: (mumbling things under her breath)

Me: "Whatcha lookin' for Bay?" (I call her "Bay", have ever since we started dating, I don't know why, but it stuck).

Becky: "I'm trying to look up a movie and I can't find it!"

Me: "Maybe I know it. What's it about?"

Becky: "Okay, it stars Linda Hamilton and after she becomes a certain age she turns into a dragon."

Me: "I don't recall any movie like that."

Becky: "I remember a scene where there is a really long mirror and she's hopping up and down like a frog in front of it."

Me: "That's weird... What else?"

Becky: "Well, in the next scene, I come into the room and then she..."

Me: (cutting her off in the middle of her sentence) "Did you just say, 'Then YOU come in'?"

Becky: (Blank stare)

Me: "I don't remember you being in ANY movie, let alone one with Linda Hamilton."

Becky: (Confused look followed by another blank stare)

Me: "Are you telling me you've spent the last 10 minutes on line looking for a movie starring Linda Hamilton and YOU?!!!"

Becky: "Yeah..." (Still looking rather confused)

Me: "Don't you think the moment that YOU entered a scene in a movie tell you that this movie is not real and that you just got out of bed from dreaming about it?!"

Becky: (10 second pause)... "I was up for a Golden Globe damn it!"

Me: "You need to lay off the NyQuil!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Saturday Morning Flashback

2008-12-13T05:43:00.000-06:00

Good Mornin' kiddies!

This week we have one of my favorite cartoons, (not just from my childhood, but of ALL TIME!)

Hope you enjoy!

Until next time... PEACE!

Bettie: Gone But Not Forgotten

2008-12-12T20:12:00.000-06:00

Bettie Page, one of America's most photographed pin-up girls during the 1950s, died in Los Angeles yesterday from pneumonia. She was 85 years old.

She quickly became THE pin-up girl in the early 1950's. Page was propelled to stardom when she posed for Playboy as Miss January 1955. Soon her image was gracing playing cards, record albums and bedroom posters across the country.

As was told by those that knew her best, you could not have known a sweeter or nicer person in the world. She stopped modeling in 1957, retreated from the public spotlight and turned to religion.

With her dark bangs, alluring blue-gray eyes and wide smile, Page cultivated an innocent girl-next-door persona. The one-time school teacher was nice, (but was portrayed as being quite naughty), as some of her photos featured spanking and bondage.

Page was said to be mystified by all the attention, saying she never felt particularly attractive and had to wear a lot of makeup to cover up her large pores. After she found God, she was initially ashamed of having posed nude.

She told Playboy in an interview she did last year, "Most of the money I've got is because I posed in the nude, so I'm not ashamed of it now, but I still don't understand it."

Photos from a shoot with Miami photographer Bunny Yeager ended up in the pages of Playboy.

The layout featured Page winking at the camera wearing only a Santa hat as she decorated a Christmas tree.

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner described it as "a milestone in the history of the magazine," which he had founded less than two years earlier.

Later in life, Page was furious that Yeager made a fortune from the photos and never compensated her.

But in her later life, Page made a good living signing memorabilia at conventions. On the rare occasions that she gave interviews, she insisted that she not be photographed. However, there was a photo of her that surfaced 3 years ago of her when she was 82 years old.

In my opinion, even at 82 years old, she was still a looker!

Plus, it if it weren't for Bettie, where would my wife get all of her great pin-up girls she uses for her blog? LOL!

Rest In Peace Bettie. You are a true icon and will be a part of history forever. You definitely made your mark on this world.

Until next time... PEACE!

"Zero Tolerance" shows it's ugly face.

2008-12-12T10:34:00.000-06:00

Well, it so happens the company I work for has a "Zero Tolerance" rule when it comes to being tardy. And yes, I got nabbed for it.

I was 2 minutes late leaving my house the other day and now I have an unscheduled 5 work day unpaid vacation.

It baffles me how a company that makes you work 16 to 18 hours everyday can be so unforgiving. We give them a 100+ hour work week, and if you don't leave your house EXACTLY at 8:00 am you don't get paid for a week. AND to make things even better, if your tardy 3 times in a year, you loose your job!

Now, I could see if I was late everyday, or even by more than 10 or 15 minutes... But to give all those hours to a company and for them to suspend a person for a lousy 2 MINUTES! It makes no sense to me.

Oh well, I always try to look at the bright side of things and here's what I see:

1). I needed the rest anyways. So even though I won't get paid for it. I get a week off.

2) Becky and the girls are going to have "Breakfast with Santa" on Sunday. I was supposed to be "on call" Sunday and was not going to be able to go with them. Now I can!

3) I can get some things done around the house that have been neglected.

4) I can help with house work. The house have will have never been cleaner for Christmas.

5) I have a little more time to do some blogging! (Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!) LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

Even Santa has a bad day once in a while.

2008-12-09T01:09:00.000-06:00

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Saturday Morning Flashback

2008-12-07T01:39:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been away so long. With the weather getting colder and colder the Heating repair business is at it's nuttiest right now!

I've been working everyday starting at 8:00 am until around 11:00/midnight. I do this 12 days in a row and then get my ONE day off and then I get to do it all over again! Wheeeee!

Now, I know what you're all thinking... "How could I get a great fun job like THAT?" Well, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you! LOL!

Anywho's... This was meant to be posted this Saturday morning, but I was just too darn tired to get it ready Friday night.

Looking at my wife's blog (and other blogs here in bloggerland), I've noticed that many have a special "theme" set aside for certain days. For instance, Becky has her "Johnny Depp Mondays" and her "Wednesday's Haiku For You" days.

So I've decided that I would set aside Saturdays as my "Saturday Morning Flashback Day". And I REALLY want to know what you think about this little idea of mine!

From now on, you can come here on Saturdays and enjoy a little something I miss from my past. A Classic Saturday Morning Cartoon! None of that "Power Rangers" and "Yu-Gi-Oh" crap, but Cartoons from my childhood in, (what seemed like), a simpler time.

So, pull up a chair, take 6 minutes out of your life, pour yourself a big bowl of Frankenberry, Sugar Smacks, Lucky Charms, or whatever your favorite kiddie cereal is, sit back and enjoy!

Did that skunk just spray my car?!!!

2008-12-02T00:10:00.000-06:00

The story you are about to hear is true... The names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent. (Because who really is truly innocent? Hmm?)

Every now and then Grandma comes to the rescue and takes are two daughters for the night. Woo-hoo! DATE NIGHT!

So my wife Becky and I decide to take a little drive out to the country. Just a nice little road trip to relax and get out for a while in my, (now classic), 1977 Volkswagen Beetle, (I bring up the type of car, only because... Well... You'll see why later), when we decide to turn down a rural road.

As we enjoy each others conversation and a nice evening out, something would soon happen that would turn an evening of pleasure into a night a shock and horror, (and a whole bunch of uncontrollable laughter)!

As we are riding along, the smell of skunk appears in our nostrils. No big deal, it should pass soon. Right?

I drive over a hill and there it is... The BIGGEST skunk I've ever seen in my life!!!

The beast was the size of a grand piano... Okay, not THAT big... A baby grand piano!

It lie there in the road, a fresh kill, right smack dab in my path. I swerve to avoid hitting the poor dead behemoth, but it was too late...

The front driver side tire hit. The car made a mighty leap into the air. The back tire hit. Our bodies leave their seats and our heads hit the roof of the car...

After a moment of panic, uncontrollable laughter consumes us.

How do you explain to people that you swerved to miss a "dead and non moving" object, but still manage to hit it? Not with just one tire, but both!

We sang songs of "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road", still trying to control our laughter, but we couldn't stop.

Until...

The smell of the skunk had somehow adhered itself to our car!

I made the comment that, "I must have hit it's defence gland and it must have sprayed the bottom of the car". The smell began to overcome us.

Laughter had been replaced with a sick feeling in our stomachs. Rolling down the windows, rolling up the windows, it made no difference!! The smell was a part of us now.

We are driving out in the country! No car wash for at least 20 miles. We must endure the stench until we can reach one.

I noticed that the gas tank was getting low and we need fuel. I had remembered seeing a small town station a few miles back. We turn around and head there.

As we pull into the gas station, there are three other cars there. Each one of the people pumping their gas looks at us as we pull in with looks of pure horror and disgust on their faces. "I know we smell bad", I said, "but do they have to give us such looks?".

I got out of the car and, for some reason, instead of walking around the front of the car, (the gas tank door is on the front passenger side of a '77 Beetle), I had walked around the rear of the car...

What I saw next will haunt me for the rest of my days!

The bumpers of a '77 Volkswagen Beetle are attached to the car by two metal posts that stick out of the front and rear of the car. This makes the bumpers stick out, so there is a "gap" between the car and the bumper of about seven inches.

There, wedged in between the rear bumper and the car, hangs "the great beast"!

Yes, that's right... With the car being a "rear wheel drive" vehicle, when I hit it with the back tire, the tire must have thrown the poor animal up into the bumper gap.

No wonder the smell never went away! I was dragging it all over the place with me!

Now comes the dilemma. How do I get it "unwedged"??? Hmmm.... With the gas stations window washing squeegee of course!

Just simply pushing it didn't work, but "whacking" at it a few times did the job!

It landed on the pavement with a slushy thud. I walked to the front of the car and put in a few dollars of gas in the tank.

I walked to the booth and paid the attendant who calmly said, "You can't leave that thing here." To which I replied, "Well, I ain't takin' it with me pal!"

We drove away, not just from the gas station, but the smell as well. The car was cured! We were relieved!

We drove around for a little while longer, let our stomachs settle and then laughed until we were almost sick again.

After a while, when it was time to head home, we had to pass by the gas station again. There, we saw a very upset gas station clerk holding a rag over his face with one hand and with the other hand, trying to move a 20 lb beast with the pressure of a simple garden hose. "I don't think that's going to work.", I said, but we never stopped to tell him.

So, one day in the future you may hear the tale of the 100 lb. zombie skunk that grabs onto cars and kills the people inside it with its smell on small country roads.

It might just be an urban legend... But you'll know where it started from. LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

The "War of the TV" has ended !!!

2008-11-29T15:39:00.000-06:00

Now, I know all you follow my wife's blog over at "Living the Life with the Wife of Riley", and she has a wonderful "way" of telling a story. But, of course, there are two sides to every coin.

Allow me to tell my side of the story about what has now has become known as "The War of the TV".

Picture in your head the "perfect plan" I had for Christmas.

*******************************

Twas' the Night Before Christmas and the kids go to bed, while we finish wrapping those "last minute" gifts, that we forgot where we hid.

Becky gets tired and goes to off to bed, but I stay up, with another plan in my head!

With the wife fast asleep, I wait for Santa to come, to unload his treausres, perahps even I will get some!

After Santa and I chat over a nice cup of Nog, (he even takes time and checks out my blog).

He waves goodbye after we finish our sweets, then I sneek out to my truck where I have such a treat!

What's in my truck? You would never believe, It's a brand new wonderful Flat Screen TV!

I bring it in the house and set it all up, complete with a ribbon and a bow on the top.

We all wake up Christmas morn and what do they see?... Presents under the tree and a BRAND NEW TV!

Aahhhh... This Christmas morning was a sure great scene, Merry Christmas too all! We all stare at the screen!

********************************

Now doesn't that sound just perfect?!!!

Well... The fickle hand of fate had other plans and our TV goes out 5 weeks premature! GREAT! That just put the big poo poo on my "perfect Christmas" morning.

Now know that Becky LOVES "background noise". The TV goes on from the moment Becky gets home until the time she goes to bed. Half of the time she's not even watching it!!!! She'll be reading or on the computer, (with her back to the TV). But if I try to turn it off... Well, lets just say, I tried that once, and I've never tried that again! LOL!

Everyone and there mother knows when the best sales are! The day after Thanksgiving! Right???

But can we wait until then? NO! Becky needs her TV NOW! Not the day after Thanksgiving! NOW! Who cares if I have to pay $300 or $400 more than I should have to!

So started "The War of the TV". Basically, the whole war was Becky repeating "I want a TV" and me saying, "No". (I'm such an A-hole aren't I?) LOL!

Well, last night I got off work about 8:00 pm and I came home to take some stuff out of my truck. Becky was at a birthday party with the kids, and my "plan" was to get the truck unloaded and leave before she got home and go get the new TV to surprize her with it!

Can ANY of my plans go right??? Apparently not. Just as I'm ready to leave, Becky and the girls pull up in the car. I had to think of something QUICK!

So i told her that I had to go on "One more call", but it was in town, so I shouldn't be long. Becky was NOT happy about this!

"Are you on call tonight?!" she snapped. "No." I replied. "Well why do they need you?! Why do YOU have to go?!" she yelled. "Because it's here in town.", I answered. "FINE!", she said and then stormed off into the house.

It was then off to Best Buy. I got a new 42" Flat Screen LCD 1080p TV AND I saw the they had a BlueRay DVD Player on sale as well, so what the heck! I got that too! I was able to walk out of Best Buy for about $1000. (Not bad!)

I came back home and carried the new boxed TV up to the door and walked in.

"NOW what the hell are you bringing into the house?!" Becky asked.

"Well, if you don't want it, I can take it back.", I said.

Becky read the box, made the LOUDEST squeal you have ever heard, jumped up and gave me a big 'ol hug! (It was SO worth it to piss her off for a little while!) LOL!

And so ended "The War of the TV", and we all lived happily ever after, (until the next thing we need breaks). LOL!

Until next time... PEACE!

The Bad Luck, Weird & Wacky

2008-11-28T00:04:00.000-06:00

Well, here it is 1:00 am. Thanksgiving is over and the tryptophan coma I was in earlier has now worn off.

That REALLY sucked, because I was "on call" for my job and no sooner was Thanksgiving dinner over with and I got an "Emergency No Heat" call and had to drive over an hour away from home to get there! (That of course means it's also an hour drive to get back home!) It took EVERYTHING I had just to stay awake!

Though, I guess I shouldn't complain. It was really slow today. I ran only two calls this morning and was back home before noon and I didn't have to go back out again until 7:30 pm. (Although I JUST got home).

Nothing really exciting happened today. No "hidden porn collections" to be found today. LOL!

So "what" I thought, could I possibly blog about today??? Hmmmm...

Well, ChicagoLady had an interesting comment on my last blog that read:

"I've always wondered about what stories heating/ac, cable, phone, etc repair men could tell, lol."

So that got me thinking. What ARE some of the weird things I have seen out there?

Well, ONE week in particular came rushing back to me. One week this past Summer that I will NEVER forget!

So, for ChicagoLady, (and the rest of you, of course), stop wondering, sit back, and let me tell you the tale of:

"The Bad Luck, Weird & Wacky Week From Hell!"

As you read this, please note that days 1,2,3,4 & 5 are in ONE week!!! Mon. thru Fri.

Just keep reading... It gets funnier and funnier as the week progresses!

Day #1: Go to a huge mall and check the air conditioning units. Easy enough...

Walk to the other side of the mall, (carrying a very heavy tool bag and other equipment), find the magic "backroom" door, climb 6 stories worth of stairs to the catwalks, duck under duct work and pipes and now go out on the roof.

My pants belt breaks, (this is no big deal at the time, but this comes back to haunt me in the near future).

I check all the units that needed to be checked and now retrace my steps to go back to my truck.

I never gave the small "drywall saw" that was sitting in the bottom of my tool bag a single thought, but with all of the walking I had just done, the saw has been moving back and forth, cutting a hole in the bottom of the bag.... EIGHT STEPS FROM THE EXIT.... "SMASH!!!!"

Every tool I own is now on the floor.

(It's amazing how the sound of tools hitting a floor and the word "F**K!" can echo through a place you never noticed had an echo before!) LOL!

Day #2: Go to a meeting at the office and be the only one who gets a phone call as the boss is talking. (D'OH!) After the meeting, go to the roof of a video rental chain and check the Rooftop A/C units. Easy enough....

Put the ladder up. High winds blow fully extended ladder over. Put ladder back up.

Put tools I think I'll need in pants pockets, (remember I don't have a new tool bag yet), climb ladder to go onto roof.

High winds begin to blow ladder over again, only this time, I'm HALF WAY UP IT! I lean into the ladder as hard as I can to keep it from falling over....

Feel pants, (loaded down with tools), begin to fall down around knees. (Remember, my belt broke yesterday). I am now leaning into the ladder so it won't fall over, pants down around my knees, trying to get them up with one hand.

Meanwhile, cars are driving by, (yes, I can be seen from a very busy road.), are honking their horns and waving... Not helping me... Just honking and waving.

I somehow manage to get my pants up high enough to climb to the top, tie off my ladder and get onto the roof where I can get my pants up all of the way.

Day #3: Go to a customers house and fix their Air Conditioner. It will not turn on.... Easy enough....

Open up the outside unit of the A/C and find a mouse nest. The mouse has eaten through the wiring. Problem found!

I put my hand near the unit and a mouse runs up my arm, down the front of me and lands on my boot and then.... GOES UP MY PANT LEG!!!

I put my hand around my knee so the mouse can't go any further "north", undo my pants with one hand and remove them and let the mouse escape.

(Please note that I am jumping up and down and squealing like a little girl during this whole ordeal.)

I have now found myself with my pants off on the job two days in a row.

Oh, and is the customer helping me? NO! He has fallen on the ground, rolling from side to side, holding his gut LAUGHING. Not helping.... LAUGHING! (Although, thinking back, I can't blame him.)

Day #4: Go to a house and do a "Clean & Check" on an A/C system. Easy Enough....

Get to the house and see that the police are there and they are removing a CASKET from the home.

Well, I had to go see what was going on!!!

I went up to the house and after the casket came out, a man followed, (escorted by police), in handcuffs.

A police officer asked me if I needed any help. I replied, "I'm supposed to be checking the Air Conditioner for this address."

"You can talk to the wife.", the police officer said.

A nice older polish lady came out and said to me, "I done tink dis is a good day for dis.... He work for coffin company, he see one he really like an decide to steal it and put down in basement. Da police day fine out and come to house dis morning. All de neighbors, day look over and say, "Jees Christ, who's die?".... I so embarrassed."

Needless to say, we rescheduled her appointment.

Day #5: Go to a customers house and do a "Clean & Check" on his A/C system. Easy enough....

Pull up to the man's house, (in the suburbs of Chicago), and ring the doorbell.

The man that opens the door is dressed in a light blue spandex suit.

He is also wearing, a (painted) yellow Lone Ranger mask, yellow dish washing gloves, a yellow utility belt, a yellow Beach Towel (for a cape) and yellow rubber rain boots.

He looks at me and says, (in a deep superhero voice), "Come in good citizen!"

I almost didn't... But I couldn't let this one get away!

"Now before I take you to the Air Conditioner", he said, "I need you to sign something!"

He proceeded to hand me a very official looking document with the heading, "OATH OF SECRECY".

It simply stated that I would not disclose the location of his hidden fortress nor would I tell anyone of his secret identity. I signed it.

He took me downstairs where there were posters on the walls of Chicago and the surrounding suburbs, 8 computers running with "America's Most Wanted" and "Crime Stoppers" web sites on them. Police scanners buzzing in the background... I was TERRIFIED!

"Just do your job and get out!", I kept telling myself. But then it dawned on me... "This guy actually thinks he's a Super Hero.... He's one of the "good guys", so I should have nothing to fear."

The job went smooth and as I was leaving he asked, "I can ask for you in the future, right?"

"Sure", I replied.... (Please note that I HAVE been back to his house to do the Furnace Clean & Check this year. This time, he was dressed normal, only he was wearing thick horned rimmed glasses, (like Clark Kent), WITH NO LENSES IN THEM!) LMAO!

I have kept my promise though... I never told you his name or the location of his secret fortress! LOL!

And no... This is not the "typical" work week that I have. This just happened to be a "one of those days" type of week....

But one thing is for certain, like Forrest Gump's mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates... You never know what you're gonna get!"

I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did living it!

Until next time... PEACE!